Camping in Cuyamaca & Trying New Things
This story was written while lying in a tent in the Cuyamaca Rancho State Park.
I am a creature of habit. I’ve been known to eat the same food for lunch for months on end before I get tired of it. When my partner Orlando and I find a new restaurant we like, the servers start to recognize us and our orders because we go so often. I do the same thing every Thursday night and every Friday at work. Routines make me feel comfortable, safe, and productive.
Sometimes, though, even I try to break out of my routine. My latest grilled cheese experience while traveling happened on a camping trip to Cuyamca Rancho State Park, which in itself was a big lesson on trying new things. This lesson came in three parts:
PART 1: THE CAMPING
Orlando and I love to travel, and we do so often, but we’ve never been camping together, just the two of us. In fact, my only two camping experiences before this had been once with my brother’s Boy Scout troop (when I was really young) and once with Orlando’s whole family years ago. So, we decided to give it a try.
The newness of camping was glaring me in the face from the beginning. In our normal travels we’re extremely light packers and yet here we were, with an entire car full of camping gear for a two night trip. I had no idea what we had packed that was unnecessary, and what we might’ve forgotten that was necessary. As we drove up, I questioned our decision to do this. I was extremely stressed because of work and, honestly, all I wanted to do was feel comfortable in my home. I felt homesick and we technically never left San Diego County.
But…we continued on anyway. That night as we looked up at the trees and stars through the roof of our tent, the newness of this experience was once again glaring me in the face. This time though, it was good. It made me happy. In the end, I didn’t miss the safe and comfortable and I surprised myself with how easily I embraced the unknown. I didn’t shower for two days, I was covered in dirt and sweat, there were bugs everywhere, and I loved it.
PART 2: MY UTERUS
Roughly a month before this trip, I made the decision to experiment with going off my hormonal birth control. Like a lot of other millennials, I’ve realized that I have no idea how these hormones might be impacting my physical and mental health because I’ve been taking them for so long.
The first part of this post is absolutely true, but life is complicated and there’s more to the story. I expected my first period without hormones to be bad, but I wasn’t expecting it to hit literally as we were driving up to the campsite.
I was already motion sick from the drive, and the period cramps on top of that rendered me useless (and hopeless). I haven’t had period cramps for nine years and all I could do was hunch over and will myself not to puke.
I mentioned earlier how happy I was lying in the tent at night, but that happiness came after a few hours of pain, being nauseous, and taking 800 mg of ibuprofen. It came after Orlando set everything up by himself so I could get more comfortable. It came after my honest belief that we would stay one night and leave immediately in the morning and this new experience would be a failure.
I’m so glad that didn’t happen, but trying new things can be complicated. Camping for the first time: good experience. Going off hormonal birth control for the first time: bad experience. Camping with my first period pain in nine years: mixed reviews, but in the end it was good.
New experiences can stack on top of each other and can influence each other and they can be partly bad while leading to something good. New experiences can look like sleeping outside when you never have before, and also like rewatching episodes of The Good Place in the tent, just like you would at home but in your bed.
And then, there are the ways to make old things feel new again, even when they’re not.
PART 3: THE GRILLED CHEESE
I thought this blog would be about my experiences eating grilled cheese sandwiches as I travel to new cities. But this one…is a little different. Mostly because it neither takes place in a city, nor was the sandwich made for me.
Because of my grilled cheese enthusiasm, I often get asked how I make grilled cheese myself and the answer used to be…I don’t. (I’m really not a good cook). But recently, I’ve been trying. A few weeks ago we were making grilled cheese for dinner and something like this happened:
Orlando: I wonder what it would be like if we covered the pan while we made the grilled cheese? It might not get so burnt.
I look down at my phone and had a message from my friend Jessica suggesting the EXACT SAME THING. (I had just mentioned in our group chat that I had burned a grilled cheese sandwich).
Not to be dramatic, but making grilled cheese this way has been revolutionary. The sandwiches are now the perfect amount of crispy, soft, and melted. As I continually try to become more confident in my cooking, this is an important first accomplishment.
The act of making the sandwiches with this new method, while using a portable stove on a picnic table, as I stood in front of our tent, gave it a feeling of trying something new, even though it’s really not.
I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking routines. But I have to admit, it felt really good to be outside of my comfort zone with this new camping experience. I (mostly) didn’t worry about work, I looked at my phone less, and I looked at the sky more.
And, I really have to remember: there are always ways to bring familiarity and comfort into new experiences. Like with my grilled cheese sandwiches.
Until the next camping trip.
