Nashville: A Little Bit of Home

This story was written while lying on a bed in East Nashville, TN.

An image of a grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and a my zine, “Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese.”

In a lot of ways, Nashville is the opposite of home.

This was my first time visiting “The South” (Florida doesn’t count, right?) and as I stepped outside of the lyft we took from the airport, I was immediately struck by how loud it was. I still don’t know if it was birds or bugs making so much noise, but it was persistent and somewhat shocking. (I came to really love this noise.)

Besides this, there was a host of other things that felt foreign, including 1) the heat and, especially, the humidity, 2) live music everywhere and, especially, country music, 3) the accents and, especially, “y’all.”

There were the large houses with bricks and columns and porches and immense driveways, all of which feels like a pipe dream when I contemplate my own future. There was a noticeable absence of people walking from place to place, which was foreign to me because I live in an area of San Diego known for being extremely walkable and dense.

But, in other ways, I found pieces of home in Nashville.

A dark image of a house. In the center of the picture is a small bit of light emitted from a firefly.

On our first night there, when I saw little bits of light appearing and disappearing in the distance I was confused. As I got closer, I realized what they were. Fireflies! I didn’t fully comprehend until this moment that I had never seen fireflies in person. It’s one thing to know something exists, and another thing entirely to see it with your own eyes. When I posted a video of the fireflies on my Instagram I got multiple messages from friends back home in San Diego, ranging from: “Woahhhhh” to “Ahhhh that’s so cool!” to “I’ve always wanted to see fireflies.”

While friends from other parts of the country were surprised to learn that San Diego doesn’t have fireflies, friends from home knew what my video meant. I was seeing something that simply wasn’t possible at home; it didn’t exist. In a weird way, this was an experience that reminded me how different Nashville was, and simultaneously helped me feel connected to the people from my hometown.

I found home in other ways: 1) by taking a long walk with Orlando and reading a book out loud to each other, just like we do at home, 2) by randomly getting a lyft driver from San Diego and lamenting on the lack of good Mexican food in Nashville, 3) by playing with the dogs at our Airbnb and accidentally calling them “Coco.”

An image from a Con of Thrones of four panelists holding up a sign that says, “Bran was not the fuckin’ Night King.”

Also, by primarily being in Nashville for a fan convention in which it was normal and encouraged to talk about the history of Westeros as if it was fact. On this weekend, it was normal to get drinks with people dressed up as Lannisters, Starks, and Targaryens, to talk for hours about all our feelings about how the show ended, and to guess when (if ever) the next book is coming out. There are few things that make me feel at home quite like fandom.

But, finally, I found home in a grilled cheese sandwich. This staple of a food has always reminded me of my childhood. Sine 2017, I’ve made it a goal to eat a grilled cheese sandwich in each new city I visit. Out of all the grilled cheeses I’ve eaten in all the different cities since then, this one in Nashville is the one that reminded me most of the grilled cheese sandwiches my mom used to make. Despite the fact that it had “organic” American cheese instead of Kraft singles, and despite the fact that I had upgraded from Spaghettios to creamy tomato soup, this sandwich literally and figuratively tasted like home. Even how it looked reminded me of my mom’s grilled cheese.

The Grilled Cheeserie in Nashville has a wall of merch right when you walk in and I can’t quite describe why, but I was completely overwhelmed when I saw it. In a weird way, I felt like The Grilled Cheeserie understood me. I had literally brought a zine that I had written about grilled cheese sandwiches all the way to Nashville with me so I could do a mini photo shoot at this location (the cover photo on this article was taken during said photo shoot). The Grilled Cheeserie had a “say (grilled) cheese” selfie wall and, yes, of course, I wanted to take a picture in front of it. And, yes, of course I was going to buy a sweater that said “grilled cheese” from the merch wall.

At one point, I felt a little embarrassed about how excited I was and I said to Orlando, “I’m probably making a spectacle of myself.” He responded, “Maybe. But it’s not often that we’re at a place that’s as enthusiastic about grilled cheese as you are.”

I believe that we’re most at home when we can be our true, unironically enthusiastic selves. I experienced that feeling in Nashville with my fellow Game of Thrones fans, and I left Nashville with new enthusiasms: for really good biscuits, for fireflies, and for the sounds of nature. I was also my true, unironically enthusiastic self at The Grilled Cheeserie, therefore I was home. I even have a new sweater to prove it.

Image of me holding up a sweater that says “Grilled Cheese.” As I tried it on right there in the store, one of the workers passed by and said, “Looks good on you.”