Nebraska: Finding a Home on the Internet
This story was written on the plane home from Omaha, Nebraska.
Whenever I told people I was going to Nebraska, their first response was this: “Why?” There were four very good reasons and each one of those reasons was a person.
Somehow, through truly magical circumstances, I found this group of friends. We’re all different ages and grew up in completely different parts of the country. In the last few years our paths crossed through our independent decisions to start volunteering for the Harry Potter Alliance.
As we’ve worked on activism projects together, participated in meetings via the internet, and attended conferences together, our bond grew closer and closer until finally this happened: we all met up in a place for no other reason than to see each other.
Friendship has always been difficult for me. I’m an introvert to my core, I’m socially anxious, and my self-esteem can get very low quite often. I mostly assume that people just don’t want me around. I’ve certainly made and retained friendships over the years, but I’ve never really had a friend group. Until recently.
The five of us literally talk to each other everyday through a WhatsApp group chat and from the beginning we’ve had a sort of shorthand with each other on account of the fact that we’re all activists, Harry Potter nerds, and residents of the internet. I’m truly grateful that since meeting each one of these humans I’ve felt not only understood, but accepted.
But what does any of that have to do with grilled cheese sandwiches?
My whole thing with grilled cheese sandwiches first became a thing within the HPA community. Now it’s something that family, high school friends, and coworkers know about me, but at first it was pretty much just fellow HPA volunteers. There are numerous ways in which these friends I found through the HPA have accepted me, and as trivial it may seem, my love of grilled cheese is one of them.
It is not uncommon for one of them to post in our group chat “eating a grilled cheese and thinking of Sara” or something of that nature. In fact, it was one of these friends who encouraged me to start this blog in the first place, and another one who suggested the name for the blog.
So when it came to this trip, there was absolutely no question about whether we’d have a grilled cheese meal. I didn’t have to explain that this was a thing I did in ever new city I visited, because they all knew already. My friend who actually lives in Omaha knew which place we’d go to (the Farmhouse Cafe), and we drove there pretty much right after we all arrived from the airport.
As for the sandwich itself, it was physically different from any other I’ve had yet. It was a triple decker grilled cheese (so: bread-cheese-bread-cheese-bread) and it was on marble bread. (I still don’t really know what that means). The waiter asked me if I wanted it on different bread, but I said no because I wanted to experience it in the way it was meant. I honestly don’t remember what kind of cheese was on it, because I was too overwhelmed by the fact that I was sitting at a restaurant in Nebraska with my friends. Months previous we had made a joke about all of us going to Nebraska, and now it was actually happening. The sandwich was good, but at the risk of sounding like a complete cornball, the company was better.
I kind of hate the phrase “internet friends” because it feels dismissive to me. In today’s day and age, I wholeheartedly believe that friendships can be as strong as they are over the internet as they are in person. This weekend felt like our group chat come to life: my friends quoting vines while I (the self-proclaimed grandma) don’t know what they’re referencing but laugh along anyways because I can’t not laugh when they do, singing Hamilton together, discussing the political situation in Nebraska, talking about Harry Potter, and just generally making memories together.
As I got onto my flight home, I remembered that I actually left half of my grilled cheese sandwich in my friend’s fridge. Obviously it’ll get thrown away soon, but I was weirdly comforted by the fact that this thing that was a part of our trip still remained in my friend’s home, at least for a little bit longer.
I have seen some combination of this group of friends in Omaha, Philadelphia, Tucson, New York City, Los Angeles, and Dallas. Until the next time we find ourselves in a new city together, we’ll always find a home together on the internet.
