You know who I am talking about — the people you admire and call successful.
In your eyes, they are extraordinary. They achieve great heights and live a happy life because there is something special about them, right?
It’s true that some people have unique talents and genetic gifts that contribute to their success. But most successful people are not born genius.
They are people like you and me who developed the two kinds of skills — industry-specific skills and emotional intelligence.
Don’t believe me? Let’s take a closer look.
Secret #1: Self-Awareness
If you look on the internet, you will find a lot of people teaching you how to become self-aware.
But you want to know the plain truth?
No one can teach you to become self-aware. People may give you the tactics, but it’s only you who can teach yourself to become self-aware.
Gary Vaynerchuk, a famous influencer who inspires millions of entrepreneurs around the world is nuts about the importance of self-awareness. Watch this short video:
Secret #2: Self-Management
Self-awareness is the first step.
But what do you do after that?
The ability to manage oneself is the next step in personal evolution.
If you can’t manage yourself, you can’t run a business, give your best at work or be a good partner or parent.
When I was in college, I gave a talk on self-management and awareness. After the talk, a friend of mine asked if I have read Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker.
He said my talk reminded him about the book. Back then, I had no idea because I was rarely reading self-help books. All I was doing was observing, practicing and sharing.
My point is that reading self-help books may help you gain knowledge, but to turn it into wisdom, you need to put down that book and do something with each lesson you learn.
Secret #3: Motivation
Self-motivation is the key to getting things done.
Productivity hacks may work, but they are secondary. First, you must operate from your inner drives and develop intrinsic motivation to become unstoppable.
Benjamin P. Hardy is one of the top motivational writers who talks about the difference between pull and push motivation. He says:
“Push motivation is rough. It’s exhausting, depleting, and requires constant willpower, which quickly burns-out.
Pull motivation is much more powerful. It draws you forward, and actually gives you more energy while you’re doing it.”
It requires a lot of digging before you find the rope that pulls you towards your goals. Emotionally intelligent people understand which rope to hold on to and which rope to let go of.
Secret #4: Empathy
The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy — Meryl Streep
All successful relationships and businesses are built on empathy.
Empathy helps you connect with the other person on a level that most people never even come close to.
Take a look at Tom Kuegler. I admire the empathy he has towards his readers. That’s one of the reasons he has 23,000+ people following him on Medium.
He cares about his readers. He takes notes on paper after listening to what his readers are going through. And that’s the reason he connects with his readers.
Empathy is not just for writers. If you want to excel on this planet (professionally or personally), you need empathy. And much like other “secrets”, it’s a skill you can develop. You don’t learn it just by reading more about it.
Secret #5: Social Skills
Whether you call it charm, charisma or likability; it’s the “luck” factor that most successful people have.
I use the word “luck” because most people keep wondering why these people get all the opportunities while only they know that’s because of their relationships and their ability to communicate well.
Great social skills come from confident and confidence comes from great social skills. It’s a loop and you sure can enter it, but the only way is to put in the work to develop the skills.
I don’t care if you call yourself an introvert or an extrovert, you can get better at this. Naturally, I am an introvert but I recognize that fact and I push myself to do the uncomfortable.
It wasn’t when I bought and read the book on presentation skills that I learned to speak in public. It was when I threw myself on stage and made cringe-worthy mistakes, I learned the greatest lessons of all.