5 Tips to Recognise Bad Criticism
As a writer I’ve received a lot of feedback over the years, here’s what I’ve learned.
As a writer, I’ve received a lot of feedback. As an employee in communications and retail, I have received a lot of feedback. As an undergraduate student, I’ve received a lot of feedback.
Like most people, I’ve had criticism handed to me in a variety of different ways.
I have had criticism that has made me want to curl up into a ball in shame because I’ve done something so wrong. I have also had criticism that has been unfair, and pretty mean.
Now I’ve gone through roughly 8 years of work and study, I have developed a good system for detecting empty criticism and valid criticism.
Criticism is part of life
Most companies now require for employees to sit through reviews which can be, depending on the manager leading the review, incredibly boring. Most managers and mentors will speak their mind then say things that made you embarrassed, and ashamed.
Before we get to the tips I want to be clear: criticism and being able to take criticism is an important part of development. No matter your career, you will received criticism at some point and you need to learn how to hear it without being defensive. If something is wrong, do you want to ignore it? No.
What is empty criticism?
I used to refer to empty criticism as bad criticism but since reading so many other people who protest that title and say that all criticism is a good thing, I thought it would be better to simply call this problem empty criticism.
Empty criticism is feedback that you receive that is inapplicable to your life and your goals. It also covers the criticism you receive that is general and honestly pointless. For example, you are working a temporary job and your boss has to talk about “future goals” when you’ve got 2 weeks left.
Another example of empty criticism is (this is writing specific) a tutor tells you to add another character to a story that is already over its word limit and you know that the character would be detracting from the plot.
I usually find that empty criticism comes from a person who just has to say something, not because it’s useful or hurtful but they feel they need to just have their piece. You know the type of person I’m talking about.
What is not criticism?
Professionally speaking, in an education or workplace if someone attacks your character then this is not criticism, in my experience. This is usually the outburst of someone who is looking for someone to blame, has anger issues, is stressed or is unable to detach work from worker. Or it’s someone that no matter what you do, they do not approve of your work.
Managers who attack an employee for being mean, or any other negative insult, without cause such as a complaint from another staff member, have a problem with not only perspective but also compassion. In general I find that many managers struggle with acknowledging their subordinates as people which leads to most breakdowns in communication.
If a manager, or teacher, tells you that you are:
- a horrible person, negative or ‘mean’ with no cause or examples
- very bad at something but again cannot provide examples
- doing something wrong when all other staff members or students are doing it too
- not qualified in something that you trained in (exceptions to this will be covered in my 5 tips)
Then this is a personal problem and is not criticism.
This is a personal attack.
PSA: Do not let people in positions of power think they can treat people like emotional punching bags because they can’t be professional.
If this is your situation, please consider other options to deal with the situation on a professional level. If a union is available to you, join it. If the manager wants to discuss these pieces of ‘feedback’, formally request to have everything written down or recorded.
How to spot empty criticism
These five tips are more questions to help you be able to find the truth in what feels like a hate-on-you parade of feedback. Criticism doesn’t have to be negative but negative criticism is not a bad thing. We’re human, we mess up and we need other people to provide perspective on what we’re doing.
If you answer no to all of these questions then the criticism is empty. If you answer yes, you should consider the criticism carefully and create a plan on how to improve.
1.Is what they’re saying specific?
If the answer is yes, listen carefully to the criticism and make sure you can see exactly where this criticism applies.
If the answer is no, you can still find some value in what is being said. For example, if they are telling you need to narrow your focus but don’t refer to a specific task, this probably means that your focus in general is too wide. They’re telling you that you need to be more focused on every task you do and to stick to your main goals instead of being lost in smaller, or less applicable, tasks.
2.Can you understand where they’re coming from?
Does the criticism come from a place of concern? Or come from a place of observation? Can you think of situations where this criticism is valid? Have you honestly noticed yourself that this is an issue?
Writers often know when something is wrong with a piece and most of us do know when we’ve not given our usual effort in a job.
If you can’t understand where they are coming from and can’t think of any situation that applies to the criticism then look elsewhere for help.
Ask a supportive coworker, fellow student or friend to give their honest opinion. Ask someone you know who you can trust to be honest but not hurtful. If more than one person states that you can have, as an example, a condescending tone then it’s time to reflect on your behaviour.
If everyone is shocked by the criticism and doesn’t understand it either, it’s empty criticism.
3. Is it about the present?
If the answer is no and it’s about the past then it’s not helpful.
Managers referring to examples of behaviour or work quality from 6 months prior are not helping you now especially if you’ve changed. If 6 months ago you were late for a full week due to family problems and have now been on time since, then your manager stating you’re always late is irrelevant.
Tutors stating that previous work was ill-structured when you’ve handed them an essay which is well-structured is also empty criticism. If you’ve improved, and that’s what they are referring to then that’s a compliment and not really criticism.
4. Is it objective?
This brings us back to personal attacks but there are exceptions. If you have a tense relationship with your manager and you do dislike them greatly then your behaviour may be less than perfect towards them. Accepting that you have been unprofessional is hard but if you want to improve then you have to accept it.
Also when it comes to graduates starting roles in companies where not everyone has a degree or that experience, they may feel attacked by criticism that the work they are doing is not great.
When you’ve trained in university or college to do a specific career, it can be infuriating to hear that you still don’t know what you’re doing. If the critic can give examples and illustrate their points then listen because even with 4 years of university behind me and experience working in communications as well as research, there are still things I don’t know how to do to an expert level. University has given you the knowledge but in the workplace it’s a different application of that skillset. As long as the criticism involves examples then you should listen. If it doesn’t refer to anything in particular, then it’s probably empty criticism and could even be a personal attack…
5. Can you apply this criticism?
They can say you could have done (insert task) better but if it can’t be applied to any future work then it is an unhelpful statement to make. If you had to do graphic design and will never have to do it again due to a new hire then discussing how you messed up is bit pointless. You’ll never have to do that again and it’s not in your skillset.
If the criticism doesn’t help you work towards your goals then it’s empty. Encouraging you to go for workshops in a skill that is not applicable to your role or career progression is waste of everyone’s time.
How to respond
Whether or not the criticism has value, if it is done in person you should always respond professionally. If you disagree with a piece of criticism then do not argue with the person — try to understand where they’re coming from and what made them say that piece of criticism.
Taking time to come back and re-read written criticism is a really healthy way to deal with it because it gives you distance to understand the truth behind the words instead of taking a gut reaction. Often I have returned to emails from editors with less than satisfactory words to say about my work to find some value in their feedback.
Of course, I have also returned to feedback and still found it incredibly irrelevant or vague or worse impossible (i.e. restructuring and completely rewriting a story to be an entirely different piece of work with a new storyline).
As I said previously, if someone is attacking you on the basis of personality without a cause then you must pursue it through official channels to have the situation rectified or you’ve got to remove yourself from the situation if possible.
When responding to any form of criticism, take a breath, do a quick check with these questions and try to create steps you can take to improve. Don’t shut down. Don’t freak out. And don’t tell yourself you’re a failure.
No one starts off great at anything and sometimes you need the harsh truth to get stronger, and more importantly to improve.
Just take a deep breath, and don’t get defensive.
Most of the time, people are just trying to help. Just listen.
