600 Minutes Mentoring Designers: What I learned As A Mentor
I moved to the Bay Area shortly after graduation in 2016, optimistic yet stressed without a job. I hopped around a few subleases in South Bay, watching my savings go down, trying to stay collected while riding waves of uncertainties.
It was a hard time, but I met many generous people along the way. I got to know them through meetups, networks, and even cold messages on LinkedIn. Although I was a stranger to them, they were kind enough to show me the landscape of the industry, give me concrete feedback on my portfolio, and share their struggles in the early day that made me feel not alone.
I eventually landed an internship, then a full-time job that later brought me to a place where I feel confident and motivated. While some of those who helped me later became my close friends, some went on to help others. Nonetheless, the conversations we had shaped who I am today. I always planned to give back to the community, but my shyness and self-doubt turned into many excuses: “One day I will do it — when I am more senior and experienced…”
I went on a trip to China in January; 24 hours after landing, news about the coronavirus outbreak went all over the headline. While sorting through the situation, it brought me perspective on the privilege I have: a flexible job, supportive colleagues, and the comfortable pay that enabled me to afford a last-minute international ticket. Seeing others in much more vulnerable positions, I kept asking myself: What can I do, even on a tiny scale, to be in any way, helpful?
I decided to promote the “Chat with Bing” project I quietly set up several months ago. The idea was simple: participants can sign up for a short phone call with me to get feedback on resumes, portfolios, or general advice on becoming a product designer.
I have since taken calls for a total of 10 hours, if not more. Although my original motivation was to help others, I got a lot more out of it than I ever could have imagined. The pandemic brought us worry and fear, but it also triggered a sense of connection and responsibility that made the community even stronger. If you are also planning to give a hand, I hope my experience can empower you to step up and return the favor.
Starting As a Mentor: Understand Your Motivation
Before you decide to run a free mentorship program, make sure to take your own needs and desires into consideration. Ask yourself: outside of helping others, what else do you want to get out of the process?
One way to create focus is to put your vague, innermost thoughts into more tangible goals. For me, “learning how to listen actively and communicate effectively” and “practicing giving feedback to junior designers” were the two main outcomes I wanted for myself. It helped me set the target audience of the program (junior designers and design students) and the format of the mentorship (short phone calls, since it requires the most active listening and effective communication).
Logistics: Keep It Light And Sustainable
The program didn’t start in a manageable way. As I fumbled to get the schedule together, appointments kept coming in, and I ended up spending several hours on phone just for the first week.
I learned it in a hard way that being a mentor for people you’ve never met means that people come to you with emotions and expectations you can’t anticipate, and it requires mental space to take in. There is a limit on how much you can be an attentive listener, and if you’re already feeling burnt out, jaded, or unmotivated, the feedback won’t be the most effective either.
I ended up going with two back-to-back slots in the late afternoon, three days a week. It means I can help 6 people per week while maintaining a reasonable schedule. Since I picked the days with fewer meetings, taking a few calls after some heads-down time actually balances out quite well. For those who want to give a try, I would recommend starting with one or two appointments per week, and slowly go from there.
Effective Conversations: Always Have An Agenda
When I first opened up the sign-up form, the question I asked is “What do you want to talk about?”, and people ended up signing up “just to have a general chat about work”. It was pleasant, but not what I wanted.
Later on, I changed it to a more directed question: “How do you want to spend the 30 minutes?” It was magical — people started putting down really explicit needs, for example, “I’d love to have a portfolio review, get some interview tips, and learn about your experience as a new grad looking for jobs”.
With a clear agenda on hand, we are able to dive in right away, and mostly finish everything on time. The agenda also helps create mutual respect and a sense of urgency, which is really helpful given such a short amount of time.
Before Feedback: Ask Questions, Lots of Questions
One thing I learned from the process is the power of asking questions. There are a few key questions that seem to really help me understand the person:
- How can I help you?
- Where are you in the (portfolio iteration/job hunting) process?
- How are you feeling?
- What kind of feedback are you looking for?
…And the conversations diverge based on the information we learn.
The first time I asked “How are you feeling”, I almost wondered if it would sound loaded or irrelevant. And I was wrong. It is fascinating to hear how much people are willing to share, and that common ground not only helps build trust but also moved us one step closer to the core problems.
In addition, asking questions about the mentee’s situation helps avoid accidentally over-sharing about ourselves, which is an embarrassingly common mistake. By asking questions, we can ensure that the spotlight is on the right person.
Saying “No”: Be Kind And Firm When You Can’t Help
I’ve had a few phone calls that taught me the value of boundaries. One session began with a mentee asking a few questions that were unfortunately impossible for me to answer (at the end of the day, I can’t promise that you would get a job if you do all the right things). It took me a bit to realize what was happening: they were just overwhelmed by anxiety during the job-seeking process and unable to focus on actionable tasks. We ended up discussing professional services that could help with the situation such as a career counselor or a therapist, which was not on the agenda, but redirecting the focus actually made the conversation more helpful.
There are also other situations in which you shouldn’t feel bad ending the conversation early. If the person is more interested in “making friends” than seeking professional help, it is totally fine to cut it short and politely wish them good luck. We’ve all met life-long friends through work, and it is quite possible that mentorship could eventually turn into friendship. However, if your mind space only allows you to offer a 20-min mentorship, honor it, and take care of yourself first.
Once again, I wanted to thank those who signed up and shared vulnerabilities with me. It taught me how to listen actively, communicate effectively, and give kindly direct feedback. It also brought me so much joy and gratitude that motivated me to reflect and grow. I was lucky to be brought in the industry by many great people; I am lucky to have the capability to pass it along.
Although it is not the most scalable model, under current circumstances, I will keep the program running until the global outbreak start to die down. Feel free to sign up for a 20-min chat with me: I’m more than happy to give advice on portfolios, interviews, career transition, women leadership, remote work, and being a mentor.
Special thanks for my dear editors Jacqueline Chien and Will Miao, who made hitting the “Publish” button much less scary. :)
