A Love Jones at work — How to Handle Workplace Romance
A heart is a house for love — but sometimes, your workplace can be, too. Now, if you watch The Office, I am sure that Jim and Pam have set your workplace romance expectations high. The chemistry between those two is unparallel. In fact, if you google workplace romance, their picture should come up. Well, maybe not, but you get what I am saying. Although their work romance is scripted, the chances of having a “work bae” are more likely than you’d imagine.
According to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Management, 57 percent of respondents revealed that they have engaged in a romantic relationship at work. I know you know what that means, but I’ll say it — more than half of employees are open to having the Look of Love with another coworker (and if Isaac Hayes’ voice didn’t echo in your mind, you are missing out on a classic!).
Further, 31 percent of those who have dated a co-worker ended up marrying their work bae. More studies have reported a higher level of productivity from couples dating at work.
So, what happens when you see a man or woman that you want to get to know? Each workplace has a different set of rules when it comes to romance.
The Bay Watch
Surprisingly, only 42 percent of companies have developed a written workplace romance policy. With companies that allowed workplace romance, 99 percent of employers have policies that forbid love affairs between supervisors and their direct reports. Additionally, a third of organizations do not allow relationships between employees who report to the same supervisor.
“There is a power dynamic there that’s simply not there for other couples,” said Amy Nicole Baker in a recent TEDx talk. She is an associate professor of psychology at the University of New Haven. “If you really believe there is a sincere, honestly felt, personal connection that would be lasting and meaningful, one of you may need to move on and it shouldn’t always be the person who’s lower in the company pecking order.”
Now, why would an employer “hate” on a potential relationship between coworkers? It is not because they want to, but some relationships can cause bigger problems for the company as a whole.
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate
There is a thin line between perceived workplace romance and harassment. It is ok to ask a coworker on a date, but it is not ok to press the issue after rejection. When the coworker has an Urkel-like affection for another employee, that is when the problems arise. If the #MeToo movement hasn’t brought men and women’s workplace rights into perspective for you, nothing will.
As an employee, you should do your best to understand the sexual harassment policies in your employee handbook. But, to make things simple, if the person you are pursuing says no, then leave it at that. Respect his or her wishes. It may sound simple, but you would be alarmed at the number of sexual harassment claims filed within the workplace each year. An EEOC report revealed that 90 percent of employees who experienced harassment never file a formal complaint while 75 percent won’t mention it to their employers. Some people just don’t get it. Don’t be “some people.”
Ok, we’re in love. Now What?
Debby Carreau, CEO and Founder of Inspired HR, gives a few tips for employees that find themselves falling for another coworker.
· Disclose relationship to HR
· Understand workplace relationship policies
· Keep personal emails outside of the workplace
· No public displays of affection
· Leave the drama or relationship details at home
You can’t control who you fall in love with or where you fall in love, but the latter is what matters most. “If you’re just looking for a good time and nothing serious, then maybe you should log onto Tinder,” said Baker.
A workplace fling, or romance, can be the subject of gossip, so that is something both parties should consider. If you can keep your love a secret, then it may be easier to float under the radar. But, if you want to broadcast your relationship ups and downs all across social media, then you may want to rethink your potential workplace romance. Hey, I am not here to give you the parameters of your love, but if cupid happens to hit you with an arrow in the workplace, it is best to know how to handle it up front.
