A Short Survival Guide for Empaths
5 ways to protect your heart and your sanity.
Empaths are highly sensitive people. We can sense the feelings of those around us more easily than others can, and we can feel those emotions (both good or bad) almost as if they were our own.
An empath feels everything on a more intense level. Even day-to-day events can hit a nerve when others wouldn’t even blink an eye.
If you type “Being an empath…” into Google, the top 3 searches are:
- Being an empath is hard.
- Being an empath is killing me.
- Being an empath is exhausting.
You’re not alone.
Although there are many perks to being an empath, being emotionally drained on a daily basis can be hard to manage.
Below are some of the ways empaths can protect themselves, their minds and their hearts, if only to make themselves feel just a little bit lighter.
Don’t read or watch the news.
It’s always good to know what’s going on in the world, but many news stories these days are purely for entertainment purposes and rarely do they add value to anyone’s life.
Empaths can be triggered by the tiniest of visuals or words, and the news just happens to contain a cesspool of them.
We turn on the news and see that another child has passed away after being left in a hot car. An elderly man was pushed off a bus and died in hospital a little while later. A teen was fatally stabbed by intruders at a house party. A girl was attacked and murdered walking home from an event.
It’s a lot to take in for the average person, but for an empath? Phwoah.
Keeping yourself informed about big news items and major world events is important. But subjecting yourself to frequent, horrific stories that do nothing but make you sad is completely unnecessary. You don’t need to know everything that happens in the world. Look after yourself and only keep up-to-date with what’s necessary.
Help others to help yourself.
As mentioned, empaths are triggered by a range of visuals that can often play on a loop in their mind for days to follow, where most others wouldn’t even give it a second thought.
A short while ago, I was out for dinner with my family, when we noticed an elderly man eating on his own. He had a great set-up — a bowl of pasta, a glass of red and a novel in hand. He was probably having a great time, but the empath in me made my heart lurch. Was he lonely? Was this a special outing for himself? Did he want company?
My mum, who is a fellow empath, felt the same way. My step-dad, who isn’t an emapth but who knows what we’re both like, ended up approaching the man to ask if he’d like to join us for dinner. He politely declined the invitation, but my emotions were instantly kept in check. We’d felt that a fellow human may have been needing assistance, and had reached out.
A short while later, the man approached my step dad and placed his hand on his shoulder. He said he was simply touched, and that his night had been made. My heart was full.
If you see something transpiring that you know may strongly effect you and your emotions, and you have the ability to intercept, do it.
Hold open the doors for people with their hands full, help an elderly person off public transport, give some spare change to the homeless person you pass everyday, smile at the person in your office who seems sad.
By alleviating any potential level of pain or difficulty for someone else, you can inadvertently ensure that you don’t have to take on any negative emotions too. They feel good, they feel loved, and you do too.
One night, as I was coming home from work on a tram, I noticed an older gentleman holding a bag from an electronics store. He pulled out his newly purchased computer mouse, and looked at it with utter confusion.
Now, several things triggered me. Firstly, that he’d caught a tram at night to buy a mouse. Secondly, his confusion by said mouse.
I waited for him to look at me to see if I could possibly offer assistance, but he continued to read the packaging and turn the mouse over in his hands. A few moments later, he asked the tram driver about the stop he needed to get off at, and queried how to catch his second tram.
And there it was, my chance to intercept.
I told him I was also needing to get off at that particular stop, and that I could show him exactly where he needed to catch his connecting tram. He ended up chatting to me for the rides remaining 10 minutes, his spirit bright and his relief in knowing he wouldn’t catch the wrong tram palpable!
If you’re an empath, and you think that someone may need your help (even if they probably don’t) offer your assistance, your company and your kindness. It could help them, and it will definitely help you.
For me, I knew I would rather go home and think about helping that man get home, rather than forever wandering if he’d caught the wrong tram.
Let people know that you’re an empath, and what that means.
My mum and brother are also empaths and they know that there are certain things that we just don’t need to tell each other. If we witness something triggering, we will share it with our friends and partners — people who aren’t as likely to feel sad for days about certain events.
My friends and colleagues know I’m an empath.
They know I’m mostly upset by people who seem lonely or lost.
They know I’m likely to tear up if something really good happens to someone.
They sometimes laugh, they sometimes pat me on the back, but the important thing is that they know.
They know my emotions can be hyper-active. They know I can be impacted greatly by things that aren’t even happening to me personally.
And they understand.
Lean on other empaths.
There are some instances, however, where I truly feel the need to divulge to my mum and brother because they truly understand why a certain event could be so sad or so lovely.
Sometimes, I feel like talking to another empath is the equivalent of sharing a really heavy load (you just have to make sure that they’re happy to help before you divulge, because sometimes their emotional capacity has been maxed out).
When I talk about the elderly man eating on his own, or the seemingly lost man on the tram, most people shrug. They don’t really get why I’m so emotionally invested. But other empaths get it immediately. I can tell them tiny details about moments that hit me hard, and they will know exactly why.
It’s comforting to lean on other empaths, especially when you’re feeling a little crazy for feeling such big things about external factors.
Spend time alone.
Sometimes, you just need time with your own feelings and emotions. Whether you’re watching Netflix, reading a book, cooking, going to the gym or having a bath, just be.
Being away from the constant bombardment of other people’s emotions and problems can be cathartic. Sometimes, it’s vital to an empath’s mental health. Use the time alone to re-charge, and get back to the best version of yourself.
Protect your time and your energy, and know that it’s okay to say no to events and requests from people if you’re really not feeling up to it.
Below is an article I wrote on the perks of being an empath, because there are many. Being an empath can be both tiring and exhilarating, depressing and wonderful. And this kind of rollercoaster requires certain practices to be put into place to keep yourself sane and mentally sound.
