An Imposter Calls…
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. — Bertrand Russell
Impostor Syndrome.
These days, it is nearly impossible to attend a tech or business-related event without a workshop based around curing this ailment; claiming to equip you with an arsenal of tips and tricks to combat the little voice in your head that says ‘you’re not good enough’. But can these succeed? Are you fighting a losing battle with your own expectations?
For those who aren’t familiar, Impostor Syndrome is a slightly more modern term for a condition that has been around for — well, probably for as long as humans have had to perform tasks and be assessed by their peers. The term impostor phenomenon was introduced in 1978 in the article “The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention” by Drs. Clance and Imes [1], who defined impostor phenomenon as “an individual experience of self-perceived intellectual phoniness”. This phenomenon has become increasingly rife as modern life has become steadily more busy and judgemental; particularly in the tech industry, where one study found that 58% of employees at Google, Microsoft etc were suffering from feelings of self-doubt, despite clear evidential success [2].
So what is the root cause of all this doubt and negativity? And is there a solution to help people feel better about themselves?
According to psychologists at impostorhood.com[3], it is a battle between nature and nurture that has been ingrained in our psyche from a young age; but I believe that there are other forces at play, also.
- Nurture- Throughout our lives, all of us are subject to continual testing, assessment, study and ‘betterment of ourselves’ against set quotas. Whilst not a particularly fair test of intelligence, the exam and coursework systems instilled in us throughout school and college and university make some sort of sense, and provide a measurable way to track ourselves. When we leave the cosy sphere of education, we do not have the comfort of grades to tell us how we’re doing. And that anxiety to achieve and check ourselves against an imaginary standard has to be channeled into something — hello, impostor syndrome. Since there is no constant and measure-able way to see our success, and since we are constantly seeing the -simply amazing- lives of other people on social media (an issue I will address in a later post), our brains second-guess themselves, telling us that we should be more, we are not enough, and we don’t deserve what we have because we are frauds.
- Nature — People who tend to be more self-conscious and learn more quickly may experience the effects of impostor syndrome more severely than others. They may feel like others deserve their success more than they themselves do; as others have seemingly worked harder for it. That is absolutely not to say that others don’t experience impostor syndrome, but from my anecdotal experience; people who are more self-conscious will be harder on themselves and more internally reflective. People with impostor syndrome tend to have trouble “internalizing competency.”; and can be emotionally disconnected from the achievements on their CV or resume.
So how on earth do we go about convincing ourselves that we aren’t swindling everyone; and that we just might be — good enough?
Focus On The System, Rather Than A Goal
From the book Atomic Habits by James Clear; the recommendation is to focus on systems for continual improvement, rather than static goals. There always seems to be a frenzy to reach a goal, and then suddenly, once attained, the goalposts move and there’s more striving, and certainly no time for sitting back and going ‘hey, I learned something, look what I achieved and look how far I’ve come’. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
People with impostor syndrome often think they’re not smart enough. And they don’t think they can get smarter. So they focus on performance goals like, “How can I get that perfect score?” instead of learning goals like, “How can I improve?”
Focusing on improvement means you know you’re not perfect but you know you can get better. This attitude can serve to lessen the incredible pressure of ‘being perfect’ and lets you work a day at a time, on being even 1% better than the previous day.
Unmask Yourself
At its core, battling impostor syndrome is simple: Don’t be an impostor: be honest, and be kind to yourself [4]. The pressure and the discomfort all come from your imagined template of your expected self that you feel you haven’t stepped into. But, as we established, over 50% of successful people have felt like this at one point and a substantial number are feeling it right now. Remember: You are the majority. But the uncertainty is caused by not talking to all the others who are just like you.
You don’t have to stand up in your office right now and shout “I’m a phoney!” You just need to take a friend/manager/co-worker aside, and tell them how you’re feeling. And I can guarantee you, if they’re not feeling the same as you right now; they will have done in the past — and you won’t be alone anymore.
And when you share your feelings, another thing might happen:
Your friend/manager/co-worker will get to look you in the eye and tell you just how silly you sound. Now if it stopped there, you might be able to dismiss it: they’re just being nice. But the best part of it is this person that you respect is going to tell you how they’ve felt like a fraud and then you’re going to tell them how insane they sound. And then you’re going to realize that it’s the exact same thing. They respect you professionally, and you respect them professionally — so, if they respect you and you respect them, and you aren’t wrong about them, then… Wow, logically, you must be doing okay.
And that’s how the spell can be broken.
It may not happen immediately, but sharing with someone else and realizing how common this is is a huge first step.
As Neil Gaiman has very wisely said:
The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself… That is the moment you might be starting to get it right.
[1] http://mpowir.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Download-IP-in-High-Achieving-Women.pdf
[2] https://www.techrepublic.com/article/why-58-of-tech-employees-suffer-from-imposter-syndrome/
[3] https://imposterhood.com/what-causes-the-imposter-syndrome/
