An Introvert’s Guide to Conferences
If you don’t know me that well, you might think this is an odd topic for me to tackle. If you do know me well, you get it.
I’ve been described as “really social” in the past but the truth is… Walking into a room of people I don’t know makes me nervous.
Heck, if I’m being honest, walking into a room of people I know can make me nervous too. One of my biggest (and perhaps more irrational) fears is that someone I know won’t recognize me. Old coworkers, new coworkers, seeing someone outside of our normal environment, after dying my hair… You get the point.
That said, I actually do like meeting new people. Especially when I’m in a room full of like-minded peers.
When the year is through, I will have attended 6 conferences, hosted 2 EmailGeek NE meetups, and attended 5 local networking events. Mixed up in that are 4 speaking engagements.
I’m really proud of that. I’m also kind of shocked.
I didn’t set out to hit a certain number of events this year but I knew I wanted to get more involved. For me, that meant finding a way to balance being an introvert with leaning into my ambitions.
Here’s how I did it:
1. Be prepared
Know what you’re getting yourself into. Reviewing the agenda and familiarizing myself with the venues is something I do the night before every event. That doesn’t mean I’m forcing myself to memorize it or am agonizing over floor plans. It just means that I have a general idea of what my day is going to look like and where I’m going to spend it.
This will allow you to spend less energy fussing over the details and more energy being present at the event.
Tip: Try adding this to something that’s already part of your routine — say, when you shower. Start by running through what’s going on that day, what things you have to do, what things you want to do, etc. Taking a minute to intentionally think through the day can be a really helpful (and easy!) way to set yourself up for success.
2. Set Expectations
On conference days, you should expect to put yourself out there.
One of my daily activities is not walking up to a table of strangers and inviting myself to sit down for breakfast with them. On conference days, I remind myself that this type of behavior is not only the expectation but the norm. Set this as an expectation for yourself, know it’s likely going to be a little uncomfortable and commit to that before you walk into breakfast.
Don’t forget, just about everyone at a conference is looking to expand their network. Even if they are attending with a coworker.
Tip: Start with hello. It’s underrated and often leads to more conversation. I’m not joking. You don’t need a grand plan or a script to start a conversation. Keep it simple. Hi there. Are you local?
3. No devices
Your phone (or laptop) can be your best friend when you feel anxious. How many times have you pretended to text someone because you were in a crowd and weren’t talking to anyone?
Being on your phone makes you appear unapproachable to other people. They have no idea if you’re faking texting or responding back to an urgent email. All they can see is that you’re busy.
Let’s face it, being in a room full of people that you don’t know can be wildly uncomfortable. I sometimes feel like everyone immediately knows that I don’t know anyone else. The reality though is that no one is keeping score. Everyone is busy talking to one another and making new connections.
Or they’re missing out because they’re on their phone.
Tip: When I do need to check my phone (for work or other purposes), I try to excuse myself from the networking area. I like to find space to intentionally see what’s happening before returning my attention to the event. *During sessions, I do make an exception to this rule so I can tweet out the fabulous content.
4. Attend the extracurriculars
More and more conferences are offering activities and extracurriculars outside of the regularly scheduled program. This year alone, I’ve seen group runs, yoga classes, golf, and even a beginner’s climb being offered.
Take advantage of these things!
On one hand, you can use them as a way to do something comfortable in an uncomfortable place. If you’re a runner, join the run. Perhaps doing something you’re familiar with will allow you to open up and meet people in what feels like a more natural way.
On the other hand, this is a great excuse to try something new!
Cocktail hours and after-parties are fun but I love that more companies are choosing to support activities that don’t revolve around alcohol.
Tip: If there’s an activity on the agenda that you absolutely love, do it. If there’s something that seems scary, maybe do that too. Use it as an opportunity to try something you might not otherwise do.
5. Find downtime
This is going to seem contradictory to my previous point but it’s really important. Putting yourself out there, while worth it, can be super draining.
It’s tiring to have to be “on” all day. As an introvert, one thing I need is time to process the day, take a deep breath, and relax. Mostly for me, it’s just being silent in silence.
Make sure you take the time you need to rejuvenate and prepare yourself for the next day.
Tip: For me, finding downtime often means getting up a little earlier in order to take my time getting ready. That first hour or two of the day is a great time to take some deep breaths, enjoy the quiet and get yourself together.
And finally…
“This is what you came here for.”
It’s something a trainer said during an EveryBody Fights class one night. We were 7 or 8 rounds into the fight (classes are 10 rounds long) and I was beat. I was ready to give up and then he said, so matter-of-factly…
This is what you came here for.
And, he was totally right. It is that simple. That’s what I went there for. To sweat, and to work hard. Whether or not it was uncomfortable, hot, sweaty, or difficult was irrelevant. That is what I went for.
The same can be applied to conferences and networking events. Of course, you’re going to learn new things, but if your goal is to expand your network and get a little outside your comfort zone, when it gets uncomfortable, remind yourself, this is what you came here for.
