Are Women the Future of Infidelity?
As we become more progressive as a generation, you are able to see a shift in social norms. The norms that have been carefully constructed for generations now are being broken or adjusted in order to make for a more equal society.
The once massive gender gap is slowly closing. Women are at speed with men in almost every aspect: education, job opportunities, equal pay, rights to vote… adultery? So, that’s a lie about equal pay, but on the cheating front, women might just be approaching equality.
When it comes to infidelity, it cannot be assumed that both genders define it the same way. In the age of Tinder and easy accessibility to hookups, the need to clarify how you define monogamy and infidelity is vital.
Cheating is complex territory — Does sending flirty messages on Instagram constitute as cheating? How about forming an emotional but nonsexual connection with someone? Answers to these questions falls on a continuum of gendered lines: Studies suggest that physical infidelity fazes men a lot more in contrast to emotional cheating, whereas it is the opposite for women.
Recent data from the National Opinion Research Centre has shown that, over the past two decades, the percentage of married women that have reported having affairs has risen nearly 40 percent and counting, meanwhile, the percentage of men reporting infidelity has remained steadfast.
This shift could possibly be equated to a variety of reasons. It could be equated to the exposure that women are slowly gaining. Now in previous generations, the odds of a woman cheating were a lot less. This could be due to the fact that women were mostly homemakers, with that being their only job, while men went to work, giving them more opportunity to socialise and engage. As women become more independent in every aspect — joining the workforce, being in a more sociable environment, making contacts, they have just as much opportunity as men to meet people they could form connections with.
Furthermore, you can factor in economics. Most women of preceding generations were financially reliant on their significant other. As an increasing number of women become breadwinners, there are less women financially reliant on men. As women gain more powerful roles both at home and in the workplace, their financial independence makes them less apprehensive.
In retrospect to previous statements, women also may be more likely to cheat when they have money, not because they’re going out looking for it. According to a relationship expert John Gray, Ph.D. and Author, the financial successes of a woman affect her testosterone levels, which, in turn, project onto her love life.
“As more women are financially independent, they are less dependent on their partners. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man’s. This increased testosterone can increase her desire for sex with a stranger or a one night stand for fun. On the other hand, married women who are less financially independent will tend to have lower testosterone and higher estrogen. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner.” explained Gray.
This does not in any way imply that financial success makes ALL women more likely to cheat, just that she is more likely to act on that desire if that desire already exists.
We then have a bigger factor — social media, which has made finding partners easier than ever. It makes reigniting old flames all too effortless. You’re very likely to share mutuals, cities, schools or colleagues with an ex or someone you were once interested in — that is more than enough information for social media’s algorithm to present your ex’s photo front and centre on your phone screen. When you have already shared an intimate connection with that beaming, attractive person on your phone screen, you become more inclined to connect. It’s human nature.
A casual slide into the dm’s, an endearing comment or even just a simple smirky emoji from a considerably attractive male, could excite you enough to allow you to acknowledge and lure in that potential future romantic partner and engage in conversations that in a relationship can be considered flirty. It is a low commitment, feel good conversation signifying that while the person is not interested in engaging in anything drastic at the moment, they still want to keep their options open. This is a phenomenon termed “back burners” coined by researcher, Dr. Jayson Dibble, Assistant Professor of Communications at Hope College.
“Back burners are the people that you are attracted to, that you keep in touch with for purposes, just in case your current relationship situation either fails or changes,” says Dr. Jayson Dibble.
Another factor that largely contributes, is attributes they lack from their significant others. Women cheating can be linked to a lack of intimacy or feeling undesirable in their relationships. Affairs may lead to that giddy feelings a new relationship brings because being intimate with a new partner releases feel-good hormones, serotonin and oxytocin. When these hormones are released a person may feel more fulfilled and empowered. Women who are not getting their fill of intimacy needs met by a primary partner may tend to look elsewhere, in an attempt to have those needs met through sexual/romantic relationships. That is where back burners join the equation.
Today’s generation of women are struggling with monogamy just as much as men if not more, and require a variety of sexual experiences. More than ever, women today are determined to have all their wants and needs met. With a variety of channels open regarding choice in partners, women are more inclined to step up and demand for better if they feel something is not working as well as they’d prefer.
Today’s women are less likely to marry out of need, instead, they’re marrying out of desire. That also means when they feel dissatisfied within their relationship, they may feel justified to go elsewhere.
