Building Rapport Over the Phone
I’ve been told I’m good at establishing rapport. One boss told me, “I’ve never met anyone who could establish rapport over the telephone as quickly as you!” Naturally, I was flattered. But then I started wondering — what exactly was it that I did to establish that rapport? What did I say or do that was so special and speedy? And was it a skill I could teach to others?
This article will deal specifically with establishing rapport when you are speaking by phone. I’ve been told this is harder than in-person since you don’t have the benefit of facial expressions or body language. Instead, you have only inflection, tone, words and spaces between words.
The key to success seems obvious — listen! All too often, people are busy thinking of their response and fail to really hear what the other person is saying. They may be trying to “multi-task” — or, as I call it, “doing several things badly at once.” It’s a proven fact that our brains Can’t focus on more than one thing at a time. So the person who claims to be able to multitask is simply switching rapidly back and forth between tasks. Exhausting! And not terribly efficient. But I digress….
So — listen. Stop writing, applying mascara, texting, perusing your email. Whatever else you are doing, just stop. Grab a pen and paper so you can jot notes as your caller speaks. For me, that was everything from their name (yes I admit it; I’m awful at remembering names), to their pet’s name, child’s name, etc. And of course the details of their concern. They might fire off several questions. Jot them down as you listen. Don’t try to capture whole sentences; just use keywords or phrases.
Another key is to acknowledge. I often do this to not only get details but also let the person know I am listening. For example, “that sounds frustrating! Can you tell me what store this happened at?” I might also let them know I’m listening by repeating something they said. Ex: “you said the item arrived damaged. Can you tell me if the outer box was also damaged?” I might even ask them to repeat something: “I want to make sure I get the details correct. Can you tell me the name of the waiter again?” In every case, I want to be sympathetic to their plight without any negative comments. Keep your responses non-judgmental.
Acknowledging has a calming effect, and the person will begin to wind down. As soon as there is a pause, step in. Use a transitional phrase like, “sounds like we have a lot to discuss” or “I’m glad you called so we can make this right.” I will then say something like, “I want to make sure I heard you correctly. As I understood it, you are upset about…..” Briefly outline their concerns. I then go on to say, “have I got that right? Have I missed anything?” Once they agree, I say, “let’s take this one step at a time so I can make sure we cover all your concerns.”
Personalize! Use any details you got from their initial speech. Like, “I know you are concerned that Johnny won’t be able to attend school in the fall” or “I’m a dog-lover too, so I want to be sure you And Fido are happy.”
Be sincere! I used to have a boss who would joke, “nothing sells like sincerity. Once you can fake that you got it made!” All jokes aside, there is truth in that statement. Sincerity does sell. If you just aren’t feeling it you may have to fake it a bit. Try to imagine how you would feel in their place. Or how you would feel if their situation happened to someone you loved. Caring is key.
Use humor when appropriate. I can’t tell you when it is. It’s a judgment call. I happen to be good at inserting humor, but not everyone is. If funny isn’t your thing Don’t try to force that.
So in conclusion, the keys to establishing rapport over the phone are:
· Listen
· Acknowledge
· Rephrase
· Personalize
· Be Sincere
Think of the golden rule — how would you want to be treated? Then use the suggestions above to speak to the person on the other end of the phone.
In upcoming articles, I will discuss how to handle angry, abusive customers. Until next time, thanks for tuning in!
