Careers Are Self-Prescribed Therapy
I’ve spent the past nine years doing two primary things: learning and development work for incarcerated and formerly incarcerated people and consulting work for small business owners. If you add in a few “sprinkles” of other things like working at a tech startup and completing business school, you can imagine that I’ve spent the last decade being inspired by a wide range of people from very far ends of society’s spectrum.
Despite their differences, my experiences with these people have led me to develop one particular belief: People’s work choices stem from their desire for whatever they believe will bring healing in their personal lives. Simply put: whether folks have awareness about it or not, careers are self-prescribed therapy.
Since we’re in an era where the best seller book titles are all about doing what you love, loving what you do, living a purpose-driven life, and being intentional about making an impact, let me be very clear about my assertion, because it isn’t about any of that. I’m saying that ALL people, whether they perceive themselves as working a dead end job, or believe they’re living out their wildest career dreams, prescribe themselves a set of tasks and objectives to validate the storyline they believe to be true about their lives.
This tendency usually reveals itself in short bursts of career changes like business failures, layoffs, or even relocation for their spouse’s career. In my world of teaching and consulting, the revelation has come when clients or students have hit a significant roadblock, which happens quite often. I’ve seen businesses built because of someone’s desire to rebel against their family traditions. I’ve seen companies shut down because of broken marriages. I’ve seen students prepare to come home from prison with a fresh new career perspective only to find that their family members expected to maintain the same lifestyle that can only be sustained by illegal income. Careers are complex because people are complicated.
All of this is obvious, but it has been traditionally inconvenient for us to operate from this lens. Can you imagine working as a high school career counselor and asking a student, “Where do you believe your parents failed the most?” to help them decide on post-secondary pursuits? Would capitalism work if our most powerful business and political leaders weren’t on a journey to “fix” their sense of powerlessness? Should HR managers intentionally match an employee with a manager who represents the parent they never had? So on and so forth.
It has been inconvenient to see our actions for what they are because the last few centuries of our survival has been dependent on human productivity. We have widely adopted our contribution to the economic progress of society to be synonymous with having a positive moral character. We carry on in our career roles hoping to be perceived by colleagues and peers as someone who adds value to society — never acknowledging that whether consciously or subconsciously, we are on a vigorous pursuit to validate or amend our life storyline.
If the notion seems far fetched, ask yourself the following questions:
- How many times have I passed up an opportunity because it didn’t align with how I like to present myself to others?
- Are my career decisions influenced by my perception of my parent(s), spouse, or children?
- What is my level of comfort with engaging in work that requires a level of confidence with not having all of the answers?
- How easy or difficult is it in my adult life, to develop skills in areas where I did not excel as a child?
- Does my favorite work colleague/manager/co-founder/direct report/etc. represent something insufficient within my character?
Does any of this resonate with you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
