Communication burnout is a real thing
I’m horrible at responding to text messages. And Facebook messages, LinkedIn messages, Twitter DMs, Slack messages, and even gchats. I am THE WORST at email, typically. (Which is silly because I run an email-based service in my spare time.)
There are some people or messages that I respond to immediately, because they’re quick and easy. Then there’s others that sit there for five days. This is usually because I saw them when I was busy or had just woken up (I need to stop checking email when I first wake up) and then forgot to respond.
I have the memory of an ant.
Other times, my response time is entirely determined on how much thinking is required for my response, or what type of decision making I have to do in order to respond. Or if I have to make a decision at all.
Some friends, colleagues, and loved ones totally understand. These folks know that I require follow up, or gasp — a phone call. Although, I’m bad at answering and returning those as well.
Others get offended that it takes me so long to respond or when I don’t respond at all. Totally understandable. I get offended when people don’t respond to me too! I’m a total hypocrite in this case. But I also empathize with these folks because, well, communicating is hard. It’s exhausting, draining even — especially when you do it every day for work or life.
The real problem is that as a result, things fall through the cracks, or I push back the things I know are going to result in a string of messages. Because honestly, I simply can’t handle the back and forth with 20 different people all at once, all on different topics. It’s a part of life, but it’s hard.
A part of communicating is making quick decisions all day long. When you’re writing long form pieces, social media posts, editing others’ writing, collaborating with your team, participating in a community, making plans with friends, planning trips to see family, planning bachelorette parties, recruiting new writers, ordering food — these all require decision making.
As I wrote in my post on the truth about side projects — decision making fatigue is real and it’s hard. Communication burnout is a product of decision making fatigue.
Don’t get me wrong, I love all of this. I thrive off of each and every communication — that’s why I do what I do. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me tired.
It’s because of that love, I am tied to my computer and phone pretty much 24/7. I sometimes run in the morning, but even then, I have my phone on me for music. And when I stop to take a breather, I look to see what new Twitter notifications. This is insane.
I get burned out because I never sign off. I’m available to anyone at any time. If I’m ignoring my friends’ text messages, they gchat me. That’s ok — I definitely do it to them too. Sometimes, I’m the biggest perpetrator.
But what are we doing to ourselves? Why do we need to always be available, always be on?
I know the answer to communication burnout is simply to unplug and give yourself a day away, then tackle everything with a fresh and focused mind.
But I don’t really have that option right now.
I have a day job and I’m trying to launch a Kickstarter and I have to manage the operations of my side project and try my best to keep a community of 45 curators happy and engaged. Oh, and then I have like friends and stuff. And it’s summer so I want to be outside doing things.
My question to you is: what else can we do to avoid communication burnout other than unplug entirely when that’s not an option?
And how can we apologize for being a jerk when it takes us 10 days to respond to some of our favorite people?
Published in Startups, Wanderlust, and Life Hacking
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