Dealing with the Fear of Big Adventures and Jumping in Anyways — 10 Takeaways
Three weeks ago I embarked on my biggest adventure yet. I flew to Peru to spend three months to researching, designing and prototyping solutions that can help disadvantaged students learn to create value for themselves and their community in the Age of Information. The idea would be to then return home, pack all my things, and move there to implement.
Why am I doing this? Well, back in 2016 I realized I wasn’t into working in my chosen major Digital Marketing. I did some reflecting and realized I had always been passionate about education — I’ve always seen it as the root of many of our social problems. As I explored the principles of Social Entrepreneurship I learned how I could use my business and design skills to devise solutions for this space, and jumped right in. I was blessed to gather amazing experiences working at my university’s startup accelerator and innovation hub. In the back of my head I knew the things I had learned could have immense impact in the developing Latin America, but I was not brave enough to ditch the present opportunity to get a work visa to stay in the US.
As the world would have it, in the end my visa did not go through and I was not able to stay. Major sign from the universe I think, that I had to go give this a try. I’ve been in Dominican Republic for about a month and a half now getting ready for this trip and it has served for much reflection.
Most of the time, I’ve been freaking out.
I’m scared, I feel anxiety a lot of the time, and feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, but (slowly) I’ve come to understand this is a good sign. This very uncomfortable feeling seems to mean I’m being stretched; it means I’m getting out of my comfort zone and growing.
We listen to successful people talk about this stage in their lives all the time, and that’s encouraging, but I realized we don’t hear from the people currently going through the struggle enough. We don’t hear the group of people currently daring stand up and say “I am scared, and I don’t always know what I’m doing, but I’m going out on a limb here and giving it a try anyways because I believe in it.” We hear about their achievements and milestones, but not about how they’re feeling throughout it, and I think we’re missing out.
We have this culture of glorifying fearlessness, but honestly I have come to think that’s BS. Most of us are not fearless, and it doesn’t help anybody’s self esteem to appear to be surrounded by supposedly fearless people. I have learned that what most of us are is brave, and what I think is really encouraging to see is people naming their fears and facing them.
I have been really scared, but for anybody who feels the same, I wanted to share what I’ve learned thus far in getting comfortable with this fear.
1. Don’t forget to breathe
Thank you to Pranoga for this one. I know it seems pretty obvious, but I learned from my yogi in Miami that often when we’re tense and anxious we unconsciously clench our gut, not allowing space for our diaphragm to expand and thus reducing our vital capacity. Less oxygen in means less oxygen to our brains! This, in turn, adds to the feeling of panic. So relax, calm down, and breathe, you’ll figure this out.
2. Most people are winging it too
We would know this of course, if we did as I said above and shared these experiences more if we glorified courage more instead of fearlessness, but for now, trust me on this one.
I personally don’t feel ready for this endeavor, but I probably never will, and truthfully I don’t think anybody is ever ready for these kinds of leaps, you sort of just have to jump and learn on the road. The beauty of it is that through the act of jumping, you see the things that you don’t know, and now at least you know what you don’t know — which is lot better than not knowing what you don’t know. This will be your guide to be continuously learning and growing. It will let you know what topics you need to research, what books you need to read, it will be your interactive, personalized curriculum.
After all I’ve become convinced that in today’s age we shouldn’t be teaching students how to provide the right answers, but rather to ask the right questions…and this you learn by jumping in, making things…or breaking them, and getting lost.
3. Reflect, Journal, Evaluate, Repeat
I have been constantly panicking because a lot of decisions have to be made, and I don’t know what the right decisions are. The truth is, I won’t know until the results of them come in, but if I’m not documenting these things, it’ll be harder to remember and learn from them. My journal has been my lifesaver, it allows me to view things objectively and reflect on them, I honestly find I’ve become a better person because of it both on the professional and personal level. Take the mindset of a scientist performing experiments, analyze your results, and then just try again for optimization! :)
4. Ask for help
My mentor always praised me for not being scared to ask questions. However, in the personal sphere, I struggle a lot more with this. For me I felt ashamed of needing help handling my emotions — it’s been a lot of life changes in a short span of time and it has been very overwhelming for me. Once I shared my struggle and asked for help from close friends, I was guided to resources and support that have been invaluable — it turned out, they’ve been through similar emotions too!
Just because this is your venture doesn’t mean you have to go at it alone or pretend that you have it all figured out. Like I said before, nobody really does, so don’t be shy to ask for help. Admit when you’re lost, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s actually incredibly brave (and smart!) when we admit we need help.
5. Figure out how to manage your energy
I learned that I’m most positive and most energetic in the early morning, so I try to get most of my work done then. I also know that certain activities heighten my good energies, so I make sure I make time for them always, like doing 15–20 minutes of yoga and meditation as soon as I wake up. Knowing what helps your energy can help not have to spend so much of it fighting negative thoughts and self-doubt.
A wise man and Peruvian executive once told me,
“The key is not to manage your time, it’s to manage your energy”.
6. Enjoy the now
I find myself so focused on the goal, and making sure everything is working out that I forget to enjoy the process. The beauty remembering to be in the present is that once I do that it stops being “Oh My God what am I thinking to do this crazy thing” and becomes “Holy cow! I’m actually doing this amazing thing that’s my dream. I’m actually working to make what I want a reality!” Suddenly, fear turns into gratitude, and I’m feeling thankful for having the opportunity to pursue my dream rather than just very scared.
7. Don’t attach your self-worth to results
So, there’s a good chance this will crash and burn in our faces — which is what’s really scary right? Failure. I have a really strong pattern of attaching my self-worth to my achievements; it’s one of the things I’m working very hard on myself to break out of. What has helped me is once again to put value on the courage I am showing instead — I have to thank Bréne Brown for this one.
In preparation of this journey, I’m rereading her book Daring Greatly, which changed my life in 2016. What she made me reflect on is that whether I succeed or “fail”, I will have succeeded anyways because nobody will be able to take that experience and what I learned away from me. In the end I am better because I dared, because I tried and I experienced it.
8. Never neglect the connection with your close circle
If it wasn’t for them I don’t know if I could do this. Sometimes I get “too busy” and forget to keep in touch, forgetting how much we build on each other. It might not appear productive, but if you have a good close circle you’ll feed each other good energy and build each other up. I recently became part of a book club with a couple of my closest friends, and initially, my brain told me, “You will not have time for this with all you have going on”, but I’ve made time for it and honestly the insights that have come from it are incredible.
These are the people who will be by your side not only cheering you on but helping you and fighting with you when they can. To have them is invaluable. Treasure it.
9. What’s the worst thing that can happen
My dear and wise friend Tara Demren taught me this exercise. It’s really simple, just ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen if you do this. Then ask yourself what’s the best thing that can happen. You’ll realize that the worst thing that can happen is not really that bad in comparison to how great things might be if it does work out. For me, I might end up back at my parents’ house in DR with a blank slate. The way I see it, I’m 23, with nobody to support but myself — what better time to try something like this?
And Finally …10. Don’t forget WHY you’re doing this
You might have heard this a million times, and Simon Sinek made it very popular with his golden circle, but it’s so important to remember, especially on those days when fear and self-doubt might be having the upper hand.
On those days I’ve found myself wondering why I’m launching myself into something like this when I could easily make good money comfortably in my home country with the use of my connections and my skills. The offers have come, as temptation always does. In those moments I remember why I’m doing this though, I remember that I’m incredibly privileged, and I can use that privilege to stay comfortable and make a life for myself, or I can use it to make an impact and make sure others have similar opportunities to the ones I’ve had.
I ask myself what will feel more rewarding and remember the firm belief I hold that I’ve been incredibly blessed, and the least I can do is use those blessings to serve others beyond myself. I also remember my former students, and the joy experienced when I was able to see the impact made on them. That joy, the joy we pretty much all seek in life, is what keeps me going.
Learning all this does not make me any less scared, but it does help me face my fears and move forward. In her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert writes about how she addresses her fear when unknown outcomes are in the horizon:
“Dearest Fear. Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you alway do. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way…You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps, you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”
So that’s kind of what I’m trying to tell my fear right now. The future is incredibly uncertain for me, and that’s not something I’m used to, but I feel more myself than I ever have, and that simple thing makes it all worth it. If you’re going through something similar, I hope this helps a bit. Keep your head up, it’ll be worth it.
We’ll be documenting our journey in Peru, so I promise to keep you all posted and hope to see you sometime in Lima.
Here’s to chasing dreams and making impact.
Let the adventure begin. :)
PS: If you’re wondering why the project will take place in Peru rather than the Dominican Republic, my partner is Peruvian, so on domain-expertise we were between the two countries, and it turns out we had a better network leverage for this type of project there and it also has a more developed social entrepreneurship ecosystem where we can find support.
If you found this useful and insightful please give it some claps so that more people can find it and use it.
This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by + 375,367 people.
Subscribe to receive our top stories here.
