Enough with the life hacks, working moms need comprehensive policy solutions
“Make time for yourself.”
“Plan a date night out with your partner.”
“Organize a family calendar.”
“Push past the guilt.”
“Lean on your mom friends — don’t be too proud to accept help!”
Enough.
It is no secret that combining a career with parenthood is challenging, and it is understandable that these two significant demands of our time present challenges in meshing. It’s time we move away from mom-to-mom advice at the individual level and towards public policies at state and federal domains that will bring meaningful change to the lives of working mothers.
When women become mothers, not only is there a fundamental shift in our self-identity, but there is also an often-unspoken change in how society sees us. And if we return to our jobs, we are often expected to work as if we are not mothers and to parent as if we do not have careers. But why must it be women who perform the complex orchestration of restructuring their lives to fit into a system that wasn’t designed for them? What role does public policy play? Our government and other institutions can champion the kind of structural change that is needed to reconcile work and motherhood.
With record participation of women in elected positions and within activist organizations, we already are seeing progress. For example, driven largely by public opinion and changes in state legislation, issues important to working parents, such as paid leave and affordable childcare, are getting their due from the 2020 Democratic candidates. After decades of activism and loud calls to action during this election cycle, paid family leave is now championed by every major Democratic candidate. Women running from elected office are embracing — even highlighting — their roles as working mothers, rather than feeling a societal pressure to explain their choice.
We know that motherhood comes at a financial cost for women, and that these challenges are disproportionately affecting to women of color and single mothers. We also know that becoming a mother restricts women’s options to work full-time in professional, higher-paying settings. Currently, 43% of highly qualified women opt out of the workforce after welcoming a baby.
In addition, we now understand that childcare remains a barrier for working parents — primarily women — to remaining in the workforce after becoming parents. In a Washington Post poll conducted in 2015, when asked, “Have you quit work or switched to a lesser job for child care?” 36% of fathers said, “Yes,” while 62% of mothers said, “Yes.”
That is astounding: more than six out of ten mothers said they had quit their jobs or transitioned to lesser positions because of child care. Not even the most organized carpooling, snack-providing, ride-sharing collaboration can compete with the impact our lack of supportive policies has on women’s success in the workplace.
If the case is clear for why it is essential that women be engaged in the workforce — which I hope it is, abundantly — we need to lean into policy changes that can make this a reality for all mothers who need to and/or want to participate in paid work.
Is the current Family and Medical Leave Act enough when we will eventually return to a gender wage gap that is exacerbated by motherhood? When we have a second child and our workplace remains unaccommodating of our pregnancies? When a bias remains regarding our dual roles as working professional and mother?
Without sensible and long overdue policy changes, we continue to rely on piecemeal system that places the responsibility for making working motherhood possible solely on the shoulders of women.
Instead of turning to each other for Band-Aid solutions to our working mom challenges, let’s rise together: how can we advocate for better, comprehensive policies that allow women to make it all work?
