Feeling stuck? You have the power to deal with it in six simple steps
“Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I shall move the world” — Archimedes
At various stages in our lives, we find ourselves stuck with no apparent way out. Recognizing that you are good enough. And, apply these six simple steps to break out of your issues. The solution is easy, the work is hard. The rewards are compelling and worth the effort.
Background
I work as a consultant managing strategic and emerging technologies initiatives. I had recently traveled extensively and I was out of touch with my counterpart executives. In between gigs, I decided to connect with them.
I networked with quite a few Executives. During our conversation, I dug deeper into how their work was going. Some were ok, and a few others were happy. However, I was surprised to hear a good percentage of them express dissatisfaction with where they were in their jobs and lives. I ran into comments like:
“I was laid off six months ago, there are no jobs out there. Can you connect me to …?”
“I just parted ways with my company as VP of IT. It has been 4 months since I left and I haven’t landed anything. Just some recruiter interest who were more interested in whom I could connect them.”
“My parents are ill and I have to take care of them. It is hard for me to be an executive and still take care of my ill parents”.
It sounded to me like the last recession when the white-collar workforce was hit hard. In a supposedly sizzling hot economy, these comments surprised me. I learned that many were unhappy with their jobs. Besides, some were dealing with personal issues like:
- Health — their health and/or the health of others around them.
- Care — Aging parent(s) and their care.
- Children — their education, college finances, issues, etc.
- Divorce — either divorced seeking a new relationship or undergoing one.
Over years of interacting with Executives, I am sensing a level of anxiety and uncertainty that I have not seen before. I am encountering a feeling of being “stuck”. From what I heard, there seems to be no easy way out for them. Some shared in detail how they feel hemmed in. Others commented “Life sucks!” or, “I am so many years old, and I am nowhere near retirement”.
Analysis
I believe that feeling stuck has led to a negative attitude and a sense of resignation in many. Life appears to be going sideways — regardless of employment status. Feeling stuck has led to a lack of control. Under such circumstances, anxiety and uncertainty can set in. One may feel resigned, a victim of circumstances.
Intrigued, I embarked on some research from several well-established sources like the Center for Disease Control (cdc.gov). It was startling to see various percentages of the population in different age groups suffer from Anxiety. Perhaps feeling stuck is one of the leading causes of it.
Advances in technologies like Artificial Intelligence (#AI), #IoT, #Blockchain, and others are disrupting many traditional jobs bringing uncertainty to those employed. This can further heighten the sense of feeling stuck.
If you are finding yourself to be in a similar situation, you have the power to undo it! And, please recognize this — “You are enough”! You have the capacity and the power within you to overcome challenges in life.
Intrinsic power, the power within!
We as humans have inner strength. It gives us the power to deal with challenges. Since every challenge has a corresponding solution to it, one has to find it, and then use the power within to implement the solution.
Yet, my experiences reveal that this power is not fully harnessed or even understood. Instead, I have found that many people attribute their success to extrinsic factors such as circumstances, luck, being-the-right-person-at-the-right-time, etc. I agree that such factors are impactful.
However, there are even more powerful forces impacting our lives. Success is first driven by intrinsic factors — the power within, a drive and a passion that materializes as external outcomes. When an individual is determined, fired up, and develops a can-do attitude, the toughest problems get solved.
The Proof
Remember the time when you were in a difficult situation and were determined to solve it? You were unstoppable. There was a flow and you solved issues after issues powerfully until the desired outcomes materialized. I am referring to that internal drive as the power within!
When one is not driven by the internal drive, unpredictable and random results occur. Worse, one may get used to such unpredictability as if this were the norm. I believe that this is where the loss of control begins to creep in — a factor that can lead to anxiety.
I am a witness to long-gone unpredictability in my life myself. Over time, I have learned to harness the power within by using a simple repeatable process. It produces desired results consistently for me barring a few exceptions (e.g. acts of nature, some random event, etc.). I found that being driven & committed were also strong companions to my successes.
I am sharing a simplified version of my process with you. I hope you find it useful to drive a high degree of predictability in your life. The complex version simply includes refinement of these steps, and checks and balances I use to remain focused and to remind myself of the desired results daily.
Groundwork
Before embarking on the journey to “getting-back-in-control”, it is important to prepare yourself for the next steps. Without this preparation, you may find it hard to complete the journey and accomplish results.
Start your day by reminding yourself of your capabilities by mentally revisiting past wins and difficulties resolved. This will build courage and reminds you of your power within.
Remind yourself that at this time, you are even wiser and experienced than before! Therefore, you have the powers and experience to get over the hump again.
Remind yourself that results may not show up immediately. It takes time to accomplish them. Without this, you may find it difficult to remain focused on your plan.
And, last, and most importantly, have faith in yourself. Faith, combined with a good plan to tackle issues and your inner strength is the fuel that will keep you going.
The Solution
Step One — Calm yourself. Shut down the noise in the head! A brain in high gear is like an engine revved up constantly, it will cause burnouts. Use meditation or any technique that works for you to free up the brain. This is hard to do when one is surrounded by problems that need immediate attention. But once accomplished, it allows for clear thinking.
Without having a blank (or near blank) slate, avoid venturing to step two. A clouded mind cannot think clearly. You may not get the results you want with a cluttered mind.
Step Two — Situational awareness. Write down the top five and biggest issues that have you stuck and are costing you a lot, e.g., mental peace, time, finances, etc. Of these, select the most impacting one that is holding you back. And, tackle it first.
Since every problem has a corresponding solution to it. Find it! Be aware that the solution may not be easy to implement. That is where the inner strength would have to be harnessed to assist.
Note that separating one’s feelings from the issues is important to identify the big issues blocking your progress. This is crucial else one may end up focusing on non-critical ones that appear large due to clouded emotions.
Step Three — Create a plan with timelines to accomplish them. This requires effort. Consulting planning books may help you create an impactful plan. Please do not ignore this step. A good plan addresses many things — why, how, when, and impact, etc.
Ensuring that the plan leaves you room for relaxation, time with family, entertainment, etc. can substantially improve the success rate.
Step Four — Work the plan. Once the right plan is established, consistent execution with a strong conviction that success awaits you can produce miracles and outcomes that you did not consider possible earlier! Conversely, a halfhearted attempt with a limited sense of urgency can doom the plan to failure.
Step Five — Feedback. Many assumptions are made to develop a plan. Once it is in motion, feedback, and course-correction are good ways to keep it on track.
Step Six — Form a buddy system! Working the plan alone can end up fatiguing a person. Finding someone you trust — spouse, partner, friend, coach, a colleague can as a sounding board can increase the chances of success. Supportive individuals are critical to keeping the drive to success alive.
Once the first big issue gets resolved, you may notice that your confidence goes up. What a nice bonus indeed!
First and the biggest issue resolution should also result in freed up time that can go into resolving the next biggest issue one until all issues are resolved. Procrastination, complacency, scattered efforts, and lack of focus are enemies to success. Squashing them by swinging into disciplined action is one of the best ways to deal with them.
Once major issues are resolved, you may find yourself back in control of your life or the area you were feeling stuck at. The joy and the freedom you may feel may supercharge your life.
Feeling stuck may appear an issue of a bygone era. And the feeling of success makes you feel on top of the world! I wish all those are feeling stuck to reach the success stage fast. Good luck.
