Fighting off Perfectionism.
Who here is a perfectionist? You aren’t alone. Most high performers are perfectionists. I should know — I am a recovering perfectionist.
If anything needs to be done, it needs to be done perfectly, right?
Well, what exactly does perfect look like? The perfect blog post? The perfect video edit? The perfect book written? The perfect webinar performed? The perfect class delivered perfectly via perfection? The perfect song sang? The perfect guitar played? The perfect psychotherapist? The perfect psychometrician? The perfect kid raised perfectly by the perfect parent? The perfect grandparent?
Are we starting to sound slightly ridiculous here? I think we are.
It turns out that perfectionism is far more like a neurological disorder than anything else. It’s a preventative one — as in, perfection prevents you from doing stuff!
#Perfection propagates procrastination!
You don’t write the book you want because it has to be perfect. You don’t create the course you want because it has to be perfect. You don’t give the talk in front of the peers because it has to be perfect. You don’t buy the house you want because, well, it isn’t perfect for you. Even my Lexus RX350, while a great SUV, is not perfect. Life isn’t perfect. Damn! There it is again! And we know this! And yet, somehow, many among us hold out for the elusive perfect. It’s strange and counterproductive. Why not just get started?
So, why do we cling onto perfectionism like it’s a cool thing!? It’s not. It’s also not something to be proud of. No. It’s actually a turn-off. People are turned-off by others’ perceptions of perfection. Why? Because it makes you non-identifiable. People don’t get perfect people. People don’t want to get perfect people. We like people who are like us — flawed. And if you can wear your flaws on your sleeve like I do, they like you even better! Yes, it turns out that people like you for your flaws. Another of life’s ironies.
Standup Wizard Dougie Stanhope says that your vices are the only thing interesting about you. And that you ought to wear them on your sleeve. He’s got a great point there. Our vices are people like us. Strangely, our vices can create our culture. Because what is culture but people like us doing things like this, as Marketing Pro Seth Godin says.
Why cling onto perfectionism? It is completely counter productive. Perfection runs counter to productivity — to getting things done. Perfectionism is the epitome of standing in one’s own way, unable to get out of it. Perfectionism is the opposite of creativity; it is, in fact, Creativity’s #1 enemy!
Creativity & Motivation are about Momentum.
If you were to graph it, Creativity would be FAR, FAR to the right of Perfectionism because creativity, like motivation, is about momentum! It is about moving! It is about doing! It is about iterating! It is about try-try-try-try-try-try. And then try again. Then, try again. (Did I mention trying and moving?) This is no creativity without movement and momentum. Gotta move with respect to a direction. That’s how this thing works.
Build. Measure. Learn. Build. Measure. Learn.
This is why perfection is pernicious. If we won’t do something without us first thinking that it’s gotta be perfect even if we can’t define what that is or what it looks like, we’re stymied. We’re stymied, but we’re also off the hook. This is our out from the thing. No need to do that because it would need to be perfect, and well, since I have no idea what perfect looks like, we’ll just sit here doing things the way we’ve always done them.
The idea of applying perfection to sales & marketing is laughable. These two wonderful disciplines have nothing to do with perfection. It’d be like saying sociology is perfect. Nope. These are all human behavior studies. Sales is largely about human behavior: studying what people want and what they best respond to. So is marketing. One of the chief, adult precepts from sales is that people don’t care about what you want — people care about what they want. And the sooner you can understand and exploit that, the better.
Another sales & marketing precept is that not everybody is going to be interested in your stuff. Just the way it is. You have to go out there and find the group of people who are interested in your stuff and then be as cool and as generous as possible to them because these are your people. Not everyone is going to be for you — be OK with that. People are gonna make fun of you — be OK with that. (I get made fun of all the time.) No perfection here, either. Sounds more like sifting and sorting.
Perfection is the enemy of Innovation. Innovation gets thrown around a lot, often in rather complicated ways. It need not be complicated, though. In fact, the simpler you can make innovation and more available to us all, the better. Sometimes, innovation is simply making something work with what you got. We’ve all got constraints we have to work within. Sometimes these constraints can propagate creativity. Too many options can stymie innovation. We just need to know what the rules & budget are, then watch us go! (And sometimes it is OK to break the rules because they are not always universally applied.)
On Psychological Safety. What’s a ‘bad’ idea today might be a genius idea six months from now.
What innovation really needs to flourish is to be freed from organizational perfection, expressed or implied. (It’s typically implied.) People are afraid of looking stupid or expressing stupid ideas in front of colleagues. I get it — nobody wants to look bad in front of the boss or boss’s boss. People need the psychological safety to express their ideas. If they don’t have that or feel that they don’t have that in business meetings, you gotta problem! Because it is the diversity of ideas and attacking problems from multiple angles that makes innovation flourish! What’s a ‘bad’ idea today might be a genius idea six months from now. If that’s the case, does that make the idea bad today? Too soon? I don’t think so.
Make sure people feel heard.
People need to feel safe in expressing themselves both at home and at work. People need to feel safe in expressing their ideas without fear of reprisal. Some of us just don’t get that at work, and thus feel terribly stymied. Everyone has to get a turn at the table. Make sure people feel heard. It’s a fabulous gift. 🎁
A great tactic from the boss:
If you’re a boss or the leader in a group, a great tactic is to toss off a ‘dumb’ idea right out of the gate. Just throw in something token, even seemingly idiotic. Guess what this does? Immediately tells people that ALL ideas are welcome here, even the supposedly dumb ones. It is a wonderful leadership / Social Proof tactic to set the tone for the group.
They all immediately think, “Well, if he can toss something that dumb in front of us all, then my idea is fine to express here.” That’s exactly what you want: the feeling of psychological safety and the willingness to express yourself in front of colleagues.
By the way, tossing around ‘dumb’ ideas is far from perfection. And yet tossing around ‘ dumb’ ideas in order to free people up is exactly what leads to great results.
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