Finding my Identity
An excerpt from journal of a twenty-something kid.
“What do I want to do in life?” a question I have asked myself numerous times and one that has lately succeeded in keeping me awake at night.
“What is it that I long for?” I asked again rephrasing the question, in the hope of getting a faint idea.
“What is it that I want to build that would give me utmost satisfaction?”
“Is it creating software? writing? teaching may be?”
I have thought hard about these questions. And the answer is, I still do not know yet.
It may well have something to do with creating or inventing. May be about building something that makes people say “Wow!” A pursuit that involves audacious creativity and that which genuinely empowers people, greater than 10-folds the present.
There is a deep sense of fulfillment when you create stuff. A newsletter post, a book review, an article, a piece of code that works or any work of art or creation.
What is it that makes me curious and the incessant hunger that drives me to wanting to know everything — art and the artists, history and people, cosmology and biology.
“How are they going to shape me as a creative person?”
“Do I want to make music?”
Of course, I do.
I would like to enrich lives of people around me through music and calligraphy. Furthermore, it is a lot of fun to bring out soothing sounds and create artistic typography using your mere fingers. A noble way to ease oneself.
Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don’t think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn’t stop you from doing anything at all.
~ Richard Feynman
“Why have I chosen to re-learn science?”
I sense a ray of hope. Perhaps, it would teach me how to think and reason.
Scientists have done wonderful things over the centuries. Invent machines to make our lives easier, formulate universal laws to help us understand nature and reveal astonishing facts about our vast ever expanding universe.
They are indeed, a rich source of inspiration. Challenging the notion of what’s humanly possible and achievable at every stage.
It inspires me to set high standards for my own work. Sending a spacecraft to Saturn and studying the nature of its ring system, moons and the planet itself, makes me wonder if there is anything that is not within the scope of human reach.
Art and artists have fascinated me in a very peculiar way. I have come to appreciate the mind of an artist and how one expresses emotions and ideas through strokes of paint brushes.
To develop a complete mind, study the science of art and study the art of science. Learn how to see, realize that everything connects to everything else.
~ Leonardo da Vinci
Books and writing have always captivated me. They represent a medium that’s more natural to me. I do not draw. I am no musician. But I can put words to my thoughts. It has been a humbling experience so far.
“What is it that I want to write?”
I want to write stories that make readers chuckle and help them start their day on a refreshing note. A sort of story that lets you forget the agonies of day-to-day life, at least for that fraction of a time. A story that takes you in a state of deep immersion.
I am fond of writers who research and perform extensive studies on a subject. They travel to different places to meet people, experience things first hand and study data to gain rich insights. If I ever decide to write non-fiction, I want to be a writer of this sort.
I have handful of cards to play with and lot of ground to cover, so let’s get started.
This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by + 373,071 people.
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