5 Paralyzing Reasons You’re Stuck in a Job You Hate (And How to Get Out of it)

Dr. Eugene K. Choi
The Startup
Published in
9 min readJan 29, 2018

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Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

Do you find yourself wishing there was a way to get out of your current job so you can find something better?

The hardest part is figuring out what to do about it.

It’s not like you didn’t try different things already. It’s hard enough to balance the time and energy to make big changes in your life when you already have so many responsibilities to take care of.

So here you are, feeling stuck and unfulfilled.

I know what you’re thinking.

If only you could somehow get out of the grind of daily life.

I was in the same boat, but I’ve figured out how to position myself to do more work that matters to me and still survive and put food on the table.

So how do you get out of a job you hate?

Looking back to some of the lowest points in my life, I realized there were five crippling reasons why you stay stuck in an unfulfilling job in the first place.

1. You Don’t Know Where You Want to go

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where-” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

If money wasn’t a problem for you anymore, would you know where you want to take your life?

If the answer is no, you still won’t find life as fulfilling as you’d want it to be.

Most people are so focused on how bad their circumstances are rather than figuring out where it is they actually want to go in the first place.

Here’s the bottom line.

If you don’t keep your focus on the destination, you’ll always end up drifting to somewhere you don’t want to be.

But when deciding where you want to steer your life, how do we know we chose the right direction?

The biggest trap most people fall into happens if the endpoint they set for themselves is only about the money. They may become successful in financial terms, but it doesn’t make them feel fulfilled.

So what’s my point?

Living out your why should always be your ultimate destination.

Your why is a purpose, belief, or cause that matters to you so deeply it’s something you are willing to protect and stand up for at all costs and this is what you should base your biggest career goals on. If you don’t, you’ll transition and still end up feeling stuck.

When you connect with your why, something amazing begins to happen. You start finding the time to do the work you need to change your life. You also begin to change the lives of others as an added benefit.

2. You’re Not Willing To Let Go of Things That Will Give You More Time

Being busy doesn’t always mean you are being productive.

You could be busy playing video games.

You could be busy comparing your life with other’s lives on social media.

You could be busy streaming Netflix.

We’re all busy, but are we busy in the right ways?

Are you busy connecting with what’s most important to you, becoming the person you want to be, and making the impact you want to make?

So how do you find more time to do the things that matter to you most?

It’s not about doing more. It’s about making changes to things you’re already doing.

You’ve probably heard these ideas before, but it works. All the time.

Cut out television, cut out social media, stay up late and get up early.

It’s easier said than done and it will be hard in the beginning, but as you create the new habit, I’ve found you start to come up with some of your best ideas and realize you were capable of things you never thought you were before.

In the beginning, when you try this out, expect to be stuck and expect to be bored. Being bored is ok, but you’ll find after the first few times, you start to see things that weren’t there before. Good ideas may pop up and solutions you haven’t thought of before might all of a sudden click in your mind.

3. You’re Not Willing To Try Anymore Because You're Stuck in The Past

The older you get and the more experiences you have, you might find yourself a little less hopeful at achieving the life you want. Accomplishing your big goals was not as easy as you thought it would be.

You’ve failed enough to know what you thought was possible is more likely to be impossible. Even worse, some of these experiences may have been traumatic for you.

When you fail and put your tail between your legs, you do the next best thing. You settle. You settle for what you can get. When this happens, you will never be able to get yourself out of your own situation.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are”

-John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan

I heard an author share about how he always gets asked the question, “How do you become a great writer?”

His response was “That’s easy, you just need to be willing to be a bad writer first.”

But what does that mean?

If you want to succeed at anything, first get good at failing at it.

You may not know me, but I’m a professional failure. It’s because of all these failures, I’ve learned how to find success as a pharmacist, humanitarian, writer, and filmmaker.

4. You’re Not Managing Your Money Well

I remember the first time my wife and I decided to start managing our finances better, I didn’t want to look at the numbers because I knew we were probably spending way more money than we should.

This was when I discovered the importance of budgeting.

Budgeting is knowing where your money goes rather than wondering where it went.”

-Dave Ramsey

After we worked our numbers, set a plan for our money and executed that plan, we were able to get rid of 75% of our debt within 3 years.

Managing my money better was the biggest reason I was able to quit my job, go on a cross country road trip for two months, and pursue my dreams of becoming a filmmaker full time for a whole year.

If you budget well and know where your money is going, it frees up your mind from always thinking about how to survive. This gives you some space to develop a plan on how to make your transition.

If at the end of the month, you realize you spent much more than you expected on eating out, you can plan to eat at cheaper restaurants moving forward and maybe stop ordering the $12 dollar cocktail every time you go out for a nice dinner.

If you’re spending $50 a month for a gym membership you opened up in January and never use it, it may be time to cancel it Until you find yourself exercising more regularly.

If you’re a good defensive driver who’s never gotten into an accident, maybe it’s time to increase your car insurance deductible to $1000 from a $500 one so you can save some money on that monthly premium.

The point is to use every creative measure to keep more money in your pocket so you can invest in the changes you want to make in your life.

5. Your Fears Are Distorted From Reality

When I finally set out to make the big career transition I wanted to make, my biggest fear was to run out of money. This fear came true and I went broke with only $5 in the bank account, but it honestly wasn’t as bad as I pictured it would be.

I thought I would have an emotional meltdown and end up homeless on the streets, but I just thought to myself that it’s time to go back to a day job temporarily until I recover enough to take my next transitional steps.

So that’s what I did. Simple as that.

We have a natural tendency to let the fears of a worst-case scenario prevent us from taking action towards the transition we are so desperate for.

These fears jab at your insecurities, your failures, and your hurts to prevent you from moving towards the life you were meant to live.

So how do you effectively punch back these fears and refuse to be taken down?

If you find yourself always stuck in your own head trash and negative pessimistic thoughts, I want to share with you six words that have changed my life.

Fear is selfish, courage is selfless.

-Danny Iny

I now work for this man I quoted. He’s built a multimillion-dollar business from scratch in three years by helping people make more impact and money and now my job and lifestyle are to help other people find their own success as well.

Courage only comes when what you are doing is for something bigger than just yourself.

So maybe you can start by asking yourself, who do you want to serve? What problems are you and others experiencing that makes you angry enough to do something about it?

Always Keep Moving Forward

I had a coworker who use to be a pilot and loved flying. He worked as a pharmacy technician for 20 years looking forward to retirement. He even owned his own plane and it was sitting at the local airport.

He was two years away from retirement but told me because he was starting to have issues with his vision, the doctor told him he cannot fly anymore.

He looked at me and said:

“Don’t wait until retirement to do everything you ever wanted because when you retire, your body won’t permit you to do those things anymore”

When I quit my high paying job to go on a cross country road trip with my wife for two months, it was proof to myself I was able to quit a day job that wasn’t fulfilling me.

My friend Jason was also able to quit his high paying job at a fortune 500 financial company and launched his own successful film production company.

My friend Steven quit his job as an engineer and ended up a creator of one of the most popular shows on Buzzfeed, Worth It.

My friend Jen quit her job working for corporate to become a makeup artist and now has over a million followers on YouTube and empowers millions of young women.

And I have story after story that serves as proof change is possible.

Anyone can transition as long as they put in the work.

There is no one size fits all approach. You’re story and circumstances are unique, which is the reason why only you can truly figure out how to get yourself out.

So get yourself to the point where you have a good plan. Take action. Make courageous mistakes. Learn from them. Then Repeat.

Keep moving forward because what the world needs most is the power of your life fully lived.

The best action plan that will get you unstuck

Now is a time more than ever where your skills, talents, and potential are desperately needed.

If you’ve been becoming more aware that you’ve been feeling stuck, then you might be wondering how you can begin to tap into the part of yourself that’s extraordinary.

The part of you that you know deep down can make a great impact on the world.

If that’s you, then learn how neuroscience can significantly improve your decision making, critical thinking, and creative skills in my free in-depth training, How to Activate Your Brain’s Superpowers: A science-backed approach to discover your passions, find your purpose and transform your life

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Dr. Eugene K. Choi
The Startup

Using neuroscience + technology to help entrepreneurs eliminate overwhelm, anxiety, and procrastination. FREE training series: https://destinyhacks.co