What to Seek in a Mentor
Finding the right person for your career.
If you’re looking for personal development, one of the best places to start is with a mentor. Not only can they help develop you professionally, but they often have the skills and knowledge to help you grow in your personal life.
Mentors act as a crucial step in your career path because they can help you avoid the pitfalls that hindered them. And, most of the time, they can talk you through difficult situations they’ve experienced and pass on knowledge about your field.
Finding a good mentor can be incredibly difficult. They often operate in different social circles that can prove impossible to break in to. Their ambitions may not align with taking a mentee under their wing. Learning your potential mentor’s needs before engaging them is crucial to building a relationship.
But, before you invest the time and energy in finding a mentor, you should make sure they’re the right person for the job.
Your growth is a priority
A mentor should be able to offer more than a quick check-in over coffee. A right mentor can invest time in understanding your goals, challenges, and the best way to help you grow. This means committing the time and energy necessary to develop your relationship. It’s the only way to create a clear understanding of your career roadmap.
They should be open to receiving regular updates. Check-ins should be more than once a quarter. If they’re too spread, you’ll spend more time playing catch up than getting advice.
A planned 1:1 meeting should be standard for mentor/mentee relationships. Each session should give space for mentees to share where they’re struggling or succeeding, and what steps they can take. In turn, mentees should spend time listening to the challenges their mentors face. These moments can act as great opportunities to prepare for potential pitfalls in their careers.
Your mentor should see their role as senator John Crosby did,
Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.
They are highly skilled
This may seem like an obvious one, but it’s a crucial distinction between a peer that gives you advice and a true mentor. Your mentor should have a record of success you can look at and see as the one you want yourself. You may be working in a field you enjoy now, but can you see yourself there in five years? Do your ambitions align with what your mentor has achieved?
If the answers to those questions is a resounding, “no” they may not be the person to seek for career mentorship. However, they can still be a great source of advice in your personal life. It’s likely they’ve already navigated difficult career decisions and can give insight into how they made a choice.
Ultimately, your best bet is to find someone who can nurture you both personally and professionally.
They provide feedback
This may be tied for most important alongside making time for mentorship. If your mentor can’t provide you with constructive feedback, then all the time in the world doesn’t matter. The time you have together is only essential because it’s used to grow both you and your mentor.
Giving constructive feedback is an excellent life-skill, one that your mentor has the opportunity to practice with you. If they don’t take that seriously, then you have to question if they’re genuinely committed to your growth.
On your part, it’s pivotal that you’re open to constructive criticism. If you get defensive at every bit of feedback, it’s unlikely you’re ready for a mentee/mentor relationship.
How they respond to stress
How your mentor responds to stress, primarily if they work in a similar field, can impact your perception of work. Part of the mentor/mentee relationship is building trust and confidence in your mentor. If they color their work life with constant stress, they’ll likely pass that behavior onto you.
Some of the worlds best coaches believe how they handle stress has a direct impact on those they work alongside. Your mentor should have a good idea of how they handle stress, especially when it comes to their career. If their coping style aligns well with yours, or you feel it’s a strategy that may work for you, then this would be an excellent relationship to pursue.
If you can find someone with the above traits, you should do what you can to seek them as a mentor. Part of that is showing them you’re an excellent mentee. Someone open to feedback and willing to build a long-lasting relationship.
Mentorship should be about helping others become their best selves. This takes work and alignment between the mentor and mentee. But, when these relationships work well, they’re unbelievably rewarding.
My best mentorship experience came entirely out of left-field. My mentor was seeking a mentee and decided I was the right person. Looking back, he checks off every one of these boxes.
Yet, surprisingly, I didn’t get along with him very well at first. I found him intrusive. But, because I was open to building the mentorship, I learned a great deal about being a mentee. And, even more about growing my own career.
