Hang out with people that you don’t like. You might find growth.

Eric Turner
The Startup
Published in
4 min readMar 29, 2018

Contrary to what society might try to consistently remind us — no, you don’t need a bunch of friends who all consume your words and reflect everything that you already feel. You don’t need a herd of people that follow you, and tell you that you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Why?

The answer is simpler than we’re making it, per the usual.

A lot of people want to be praised and loved by a large group of other people. It’s human nature to crave approval and feel good after we get it. A lot of us jump on social media and spout off our own personal rants about why we agree or disagree with current legislation on any particular issue.

We do these things at least partially because we want that attention. We want to gain approval from more people that feel the same as we do. We search and look for like-minded people to bolster our opinions and share our views.

The problem with this is that it doesn’t promote change in ourselves. It doesn’t promote growth.

It promotes more of the same. It enables us to stay in our same biased hole and refuse to seek out other people’s opinions on similar matters.

When we only hang out with people that believe the same as we do, we leave no room to be influenced in a positive way by another view.

One of the reasons that I become friends with all kinds of people is because I don’t want to limit myself to just people that are exactly the same as me.

Am I still drawn to like-minded people? Of course. People that think like you do will still be easier to befriend and easier to be around.

But, if you start branching out and being around other people, that’s an antidote to discrimination.

You’ll realize that you have a really good friend who has a different political view than you do, and you’ll start removing biases that you may feel about people of a particular political view, now realizing that they aren’t all the same clueless people.

You’ll put into practice having constructive conversation about issues that matter. You’ll be able to talk to people with opposite views, because you will open yourself up to those views.

You’ll become vulnerable to someone other than one of your followers on Facebook or Twitter. You won’t be able to just say what you want to say without consequences, while you’re in front of another person that feels differently than you.

Folks, this is where growth happens.

So, do you want a bunch of superficial friends or followers? Maybe, but it won’t benefit you in the end.

You’ll be surrounded by a bunch of like-minded people, and you won’t really be making a difference in the eyes of the opposition because you aren’t spending any time in their ball park.

In order to really be a person of influence, you can’t just preach to the choir. You can’t just continue to bark your opinions at people that feel the same.

Your words will constantly hit the wall and very few of them will stick if you limit yourself to your own personal audience.

So, my call to action would be to step out and befriend some people that aren’t like-minded.

I know, easier said than done. But, honestly, get over it. We get so offended about so many things today. We have to break some of these barriers down.

I talked to a girl one day and she told me that she basically judges anyone that voted for Trump. Now, that’s the wrong attitude. I know some great people that have voted for both sides.

It’s never about how someone votes, what legislation someone stands for, or what flavor of ice cream is their favorite.

It’s about our character, in the end. Start looking at someone else’s character. Quit looking at their reflection.

Sit down. Have a conversation. It’s really that easy.

I’m serious. You have to become tolerant of your opposition if you ever want to overcome the ultimate barriers that keep you from being your best.

Go make it happen. I’ll wait.

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Eric Turner
The Startup

Husband. Father. Friend. Social Worker. Life is messy. Come along for the ride! Also, check out Medium membership! https://medium.com/@eturn102/membership