“You are enough.” — This phrase has slowly become a universal affirmation, disguised towards making us believe that we are naturally ‘enough’, just as we are. It is used as a form of confirmation, to make us trust that we are whole, that we are complete.
It brings to light our awareness of our wholeness and in doing so we begin to recognise the wholeness of those around us. As we tap further and further into this, we might begin to notice today’s culture and our addiction with trying to ‘fix’ or ‘better’ ourselves. It is a flawed attempt, in trying to relate to others and even ourselves.
“Healing is a transformation of view rather than a cure”- Jon Kabat-Zin
Every time we encounter an unexpected surge of emotion, or even reencounter an issue we have faced on and off for years, it is simply because we are being enlightened about a pattern in our behaviour. That pattern needs to be shifted. The basic idea is, when something resurfaces in our consciousness, it has a purpose.
However, this has become a way to rationalise every slightest bit of discomfort. It leads to a destructive cycle of people believing that they are in an everlasting cycle towards ‘self-healing’.
To a certain extent this may even be valid. Life is nothing, if not a process of working towards becoming the best version of ourselves. Though, when it comes to healing, if you aren’t different or better when you reach the end of it, you’re in fact stuck in a toxic pattern.
The addiction to self-growth tends to make a person more sensitised to criticism, constructive or not, which in term makes them more vulnerable. Persistently working towards betterment or on themselves becomes a sort of defence mechanism to shield them from any threats they may or may not face.
It all begins with your mindset. If your mindset is self-effacing rather than self-assured, you will continue to create and then re-create the very circumstance you were aiming to transcend to begin with. For example: “I am working towards building a new life,” instead of, “I am currently living exactly as I want to be living.”
People inadvertently condition their minds into constantly seeking out the next obstacle to conquer, fix, change or shift, which has made it natural for them to get caught in this never-ending cycle of growth. This may appear proactive upfront, but is indicative of an underlying layer of deeper-rooted issues. The problem with this is that, you forget to just simply live in the moment and enjoy each day for what it is — and until then, you are not truly healed.
If you feel as though you are healing but haven’t made any actual progress towards changing, you have mostly likely become addicted to the whole concept of self-betterment. You begin to create problems out of nothing when there are no further issues left to fix.
On the journey towards healing, we should not be fixated on trying to reach or trying to cure, because in an attempt to reach somewhere or find a cure, we will only find disappointment. A person that is constantly working towards change, will become someone who constantly has an issue to overcome.
The art of personal development is something that every person needs to master in order to become who they want to be and live the way they want to live. In mastering the art of personal development you will learn how not to get consumed in the destructive cycle of self-healing that defeats the purpose of why you began the journey to start with. You will learn to differentiate between issues that are crucial and actually require your time and attention.
Succeeding in removing pain, is momentary success, because it is inevitable to not eventually get served another dose, hence why energy should not be focused on reaching a destination — because it does not exist. And yet when our perspective and judgement easies, the process of healing goes further.
Real change will begin when you are no longer mulling over the past, but instead focusing your entire energy and intent on living in the present and working towards the future.
Letting go of time and energy spent focusing on past inhibitions and blemishes, can free up the energy needed to channel towards more meaningful endeavours, like just simply being here now. Creating peace within ourselves in this very moment.
Regardless of your current position, whenever you are ready to live in the moment and actually begin to experience life instead of just surviving it, you will accomplish the most profound healing of all.