How I Defeated Imposter Syndrome at Bumble 🐝
A quick lesson
All it took was a quote I heard.
“No one around you is better than you at what you are doing — that’s why you were asked to do it.”
Like most key lessons in life, this one came unexpectedly and under slight inebriation. At a work party, a Product Lead asked our VP of Product a question that I had been mulling over for myself for months — “Do you ever get imposter syndrome? And how do you deal with it?”
I was four months into PMing at Bumble. Transitioning into being the only fully-dedicated Product Manager for Bumble (at the parent company Magic Lab in London) meant being responsible for the dating lives and friendships of millions of users — a responsibility that made me question whether I should really have so much power.
For every feature I shipped and for every decision I made, hundreds of users would flood feedback on our app reviews and Reddit, and the others would feel the impact silently. But the times where I felt imposter syndrome the most were when a room full of engineers or analysts would all listen to and execute what I had to say. A thought kept coming to me — “what do I even know about this?” Especially in the PM role, where the biggest value add is the intangible communication and not a specialized skillset like coding, the question kept arising.
In my first few months, I reached out to a PM friend back in California to ask how he dealt with this feeling. I Googled “imposter syndrome podcasts” and tried to parse through methods — some of which helped, but none of which I remember enough to write about. I was doing all the right things at work and steadily making progress with my confidence in calling the shots, but still, the thing about imposter syndrome is that even when you’re doing everything right, you feel you’re being phony.
The tipping point of this struggle came at the company party, amongst ferris wheels and Moroccan dancing — when our VP of Product emphasized how “for the things we are doing, no one else around us can do better.”
I challenged myself to think about my imposter syndrome from an outside perspective. How would someone else feel doing my job? Which is the equivalent of saying how would I feel doing someone else’s job? And this is when my mindset shifted — because if you try to do someone else’s job for a day (whether it’s in a different field or even a similar one), you’ll realize how little you know about it. That humbling moment is a liberating feeling because it’s also validation that the reverse happens as well, of others feeling like they know little about the inner workings of your role and that you are the most qualified to crush it.
When we are so close to the details of our roles, we forget how long it took to learn that minutiae. Everyday efforts accumulate and blend overtime into an expertise that is unique and sometimes difficult to remember.
Today — I still recognize imposter syndrome when it comes up, because it’s human to wonder if you’re good enough for what you’re doing, especially if the role is challenging. But the moment that feeling of phoniness arises, I simply remember why I was asked to do this — because no one else around me could do it better within the time and constraints.
That thought — it’s liberating, because it reminds you that being yourself is enough.
At Bumble, I defeated imposter syndrome and learned a couple cool lessons through the process:
- People around you are going through the same thing as you. No one else knows what they are doing either.
2. Lessons come unexpectedly, but all it takes is one person or phrase to create a permanent shift in your mindset. This post is my attempt to pass on a thought bubble to people who might be feeling the way I was for several months.
3. Work parties are where some of the best questions are asked — go to them!
With that quick lesson, I confidently sign off,
Niki
If you’d like to learn more about Product at Bumble or just say hi, feel free to get in touch: nikiagra1@gmail.com.
