How Much Would It Take For You To Believe In Yourself?
Whenever the topic of self-belief comes up, it’s tempting to dismiss it’s true meaning. Self-belief feels a little awkward — a little unrequired. Everyone should automatically believe in themselves right?
Simply by the luxury of being in human skin, you should be able to exude confidence from every pore as you walk down the street, head held high, focussed on moving forward into your Best Self.
In an ideal utopia, we would all feel this way every single day. There would be no stopping us on the path of true self-confidence. Nothing would feel too scary for us and our most exuberant selves would showcase this worth to anyone willing to listen. Our social media profiles becoming a megaphone for our best work.
Not everyone is blessed or born with self belief however. Many of us have it ripped out at an early age by teachers, friends, family, and now social media. Plenty of us are silently suffering at the hands of other people’s projections and expectations.
Sure, life is not meant to be easy — the most personal growth often results from the deepest pain, but perhaps we make it that much harder on ourselves when we struggle with our sense of self belief.
Imagination Empowers Your Personal Stories
When you believe in yourself, anything is possible. You realise that the limitations you have placed are mental barriers on the road of life, stopping you from getting what you really want.
If you were encouraged from a young age you have made a good start. If you were discouraged, then maybe even taking that first step out of the house to build your social circle or even meet or talk to new people, is a challenge.
As an individual who has at times fallen into the latter camp, I can’t count the number of books, videos, seminars, webinars and courses I have taken around the topic of self belief. It seems like in an age of image and illusions we are willing to believe in everything except ourselves.
Whatever you see out there is whatever is going on inside — it is a reflection inside your mind — and you project it outwards.
Self-doubt is big business and thousands of beauty and fitness companies have been started upon the foundation that ‘you’re not good enough.’ This simple statement can have a devastating impact upon a vulnerable individual’s life. For you measure your very existence upon these values of which to live.
Make Believing In Yourself A Daily Routine
What if you were to replace this statement, ‘I am not good enough’ with a powerful affirmation such as, ‘I am worthy of life’s gifts’? What kind of energy would this make you feel? Pay attention to your immediate thoughts and what feelings it is bringing up in you. For however you are feeling, is a barometer of your self-worth.
You need to change the way you feel about yourself — not just your thoughts. If you only think positive thoughts, it doesn’t really change who you are at a deeper level. Real change only occurs when you shift your energy away from a sense of lack and into your sense of purpose. Then you create happiness by default.
Therefore, yes affirmations can help to make you think better of yourself. They can stop the negative thoughts. As a baseline, positive thoughts are the foundation of your self-worth. It is your actions however that build your sense of purpose. Feeling worthy comes from the continued fruits of your own achievements. Recent studies also highlight the importance between self-esteem and high-performance goals in academia and otherwise. [1]
What’s important however is to understand that your self-worth is not the sum of your experiences either. A lot of pressure is placed on young people to achieve academically, and to excel beyond all expectations. Or maybe you have the weight of family traditions on your shoulders. If you’re not living up to these standards then maybe you start feeling lesser than what is expected of you. Part of the problem is that when you weigh your sense of self-worth upon these measures, you will never be enough. For the guideposts are always changing and what’s considered cool and worthy of your attention this week/month/year may not be in the foreseeable future.
Your self-worth isn’t based on extrinsic things — it is inherently based on you. Yes, simply because you exist you have self-worth. When you acknowledge your self-worth, what you put up with, the boundaries you place and the behaviours you are willing to accept…all of these build an impression of self.
Set your self-worth high and you will always attract more of this energy. For self-worth doesn’t come from others…outside influences…or whatever has happened to you. It comes from a deep appreciation of self, and the simple acknowledgement that just because you exist — you are worthy.
Building A Deep Sense Of Self-Worth
Begin by looking in the mirror — and accepting who you are. The way you look. Even your so-called perceived ‘flaws’. Accept everything exactly as it is. See the beauty in your imperfections, for they form your character. No one is perfect — even if they seem like they are. Illusions of beauty surround us everywhere.
We live in an instant society — and are more image obsessed than ever. All of which is destroying our sense of self-worth, by keeping us distracted and in a constant state of comparison. No wonder anxiety and stress are reaching peak levels thanks to our increased social media use. [2]
You can start today to build a deep sense of self-worth, but it takes time to truly accept. Sure you may begin to notice subtle shifts in your life, but deep tangible change takes effort to create true transformation on an interpersonal level.
Feeling Familiar
What’s not so obvious are the rules we set ourselves around accepting our value. This might feel completely alien. The good news is that you can overcome these feelings with practice. As our brains work best on repetition, research shows that it takes approximately 22 days of consistent repetition of a daily habit for it to become familiar. Yet it takes 66 days for a habit to become ingrained enough that it makes real lasting change. This of course can vary from individual to individual. [3]
What is important is that you start where you are, and keep going. Everyone comes into this world beautifully imperfect. It is not up to you to question and criticise every aspect of yourself. All that does is feed a self-conscious mindset of lack and negativity. You are here to create change and inspire others towards a better future. Yet you can’t fix other people if you are broken yourself.
Unfortunately the world is not set up for you to love yourself. Achieving self-worth is a process that takes time and conscious effort to better your thoughts and feelings about yourself. Change can be tiresome, demeaning or downright difficult.
Many people may wear masks over their personality to prevent themselves from having to look beneath the surface. Looking at your self-worth may unconsciously be one of the most painful areas you have to face if you want to make progress in life. Yet self-worth issues could cost you so much more however.
If you aren’t enough now — when will you be?
When you measure your self-worth by other people’s opinions, you will never be enough. Everyone has different expectations of what this should be…but its not your job to question every aspect of your being. This only holds you back from where you need to be.
Once you understand that everyone sees the world in different ways…some people are struggling with their mental health, or personal situations. You see then can see you have a choice of what to think about yourself. Not everyone thinks or acts in the same way — and that is a good thing. Our differences are what make us so beautifully unique.
Just imagine…what would happen if you looked at yourself in the mirror and chose to see your potential instead…and chose to empower everything you can and will become?
Remember, your self-worth isn’t valued on the weight of other people’s opinions. It’s based on your ability to accept yourself and to understand that you are enough, exactly as you are.
References:
[1] https://scialert.net/fulltextmobile/?doi=jas.2010.2474.2477
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5904786/
[3] https://www.sciencealert.com/how-long-it-takes-to-break-a-habit-according-to-science
