How the Narcissist Triangulates

Rev. Sheri Heller, LCSW, RSW
The Startup
Published in
4 min readApr 29, 2019

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Mir-Sadıx Huseynov [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]

Triangulation is a commonly relied upon tactic by narcissists. It involves the narcissist pitting a supporter or a militia of supporters, also known as enablers and flying monkeys, against a targeted rival, in order to Divide and Conquer.

CC Nicola @ Flickr

Dividing and Conquering is the means by which control over a designated target is ensured by creating discord and opposition. These flying monkeys are triangulated and used by the narcissist to further the narcissist’s agenda to control, manage, dominate, and glean sundry forms of supply from a designated target.

Supply refers to that which feeds the narcissist’s pathological limitless need to feel powerful and worshipped.

How does the narcissist manage to so seamlessly accomplish this feat? S/he will feign victimization, manipulate facts, disseminate ambiguous rumors (doublespeak), and call the targeted victim’s morals into question.

By inferring the target is unethical, unstable, paranoid and irrational the narcissist succeeds with stigmatizing the target. The…

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Rev. Sheri Heller, LCSW, RSW
The Startup

Complex trauma clinician and writer. Survivor turned thriver, with a love for world travel, the arts and nature. I think outside the box. Sheritherapist.com