How To Boost Your Self-Confidence When You’re Feeling Low
Identify the role that media may be playing in your current emotional state
This season of my life has been filled with lots of rejection. Opportunities that I thought would move forward seem stalled.The stuff that I have been putting out into the world hasn’t resonated in the way that I had hoped. Fall is my favorite season, but in the Upper Midwest where I am located, it seems to be playing tug-of-war with summer. Every day when I wake up, I seem to be facing a list of what I HAVEN’T done, and that list just keeps growing. This isn’t the first time in my life that I have felt defeated. This isn’t the first time in my life that I have felt discouraged. This isn’t the first time in my life that I have felt down.
The thing I have learned about this current state is that it is not permanent and that no matter how loud my inner critique gets, it is my responsibility to feel my emotions without becoming them. Emotions are data points and metrics that we can use to carry us to a better emotion. We can become emotional archaeologists and dig to find more information. We can become emotional forensic scientists and gather all of the clues to piece together a series of events — What was the motive? Whose “fingerprints” are involved? Who needs to be brought in for questioning? It is through this process of introspection that we become stronger, better problem solvers and better able to handle the many challenges and obstacles that life brings our way.
So what do you do when you need to make yourself feel better?
(1) Eat a more balanced media (social and mass) diet.
It has always been curious to me that we call our social media timelines “feeds.” What we take in has the ability to nourish or malnourish us. If all we are “eating” is the best moments of people’s lives, it’s no wonder that we feel isolated or sad, especially when we are not experiencing the best moments of our lives. I encourage you to seek out people and accounts that are more authentic in their portrayal of their experiences. Those that share the good times and the not so good times. There are some wonderful YouTube accounts and other sources of content beyond major media that you can subscribe to and watch.
(2) Put out content that represents your ideal version of the world.
When we turn on national news, there is no shortage of collective anxiety and fear about the polarization that we are experiencing. Do your best to put out content that is inspirational, motivational and encouraging. As a follower, we have to eat a more balanced media diet. As producers, we have to cook and serve more balanced media diets for those who choose to follow us. When I was a little girl, my grandmother who grew up in the segregated south only purchased black or African American dolls for me. She once told me a story about how there were no black or African American dolls available in stores when she was growing up and how if they wanted them, people had to hand-make them. That was my granny’s version of representing her ideal world for me, and it is because of her that I have a healthier sense of self esteem and self confidence. We have an opportunity with all of our media — our social accounts, our websites and our newsletters to portray the world as we want it to be.
(3) Be habitual about your creative and professional tasks.
Motivation, like other emotions comes and goes. The thing that has sustained me, even when I don’t feel my best is routine. Regardless of how I feel, I make it my business to do something daily that moves my professional goals forward. It doesn’t always have to be something profound. Sometimes the only thing that I can muster up the energy to do is to clean out my digital files or clean off my desk. Though small, that contributes to my ability to do my work better. Having long laundry lists of things to do doesn’t serve us. In fact, in my experience having an IMPOSSIBLE TO DO list is discouraging. Take the time to focus on no more than 3 tasks a day, and anything else that gets done is a bonus. I do keep a long list of things to do, just so that I don’t forget the tasks, but that list is separate from my daily to do list and I only look at it once a week or biweekly to determine what I need to put on my daily to do list.
I just want you to know we all get weary. We all get tired. We all get frustrated. The fact that you are reading this story is a testament to your self-awareness and your commitment to moving closer to the life of your dreams. Concentrate on the small things and you’ll be celebrating one of your best days, and one of your best seasons soon enough!
