How to give feedback to people who can’t handle feedback
Researchers have recently found that our bodies and brains interpret negative feedback as an actual psychological threat — with both behavioral and physical consequences.
Because of this, Paul Green and colleagues at Harvard Business School believe negative feedback — on its own — rarely leads to improvement.
Instead, it spurs us to remove ourselves from the partner or group where we’ve received the feedback and “shop” for confirmation among new social circles.
At work, that means we will seek out a new arrangement for our next project.
If stuck with a certain partner or in a specific department, we might feel the urge to form relationships with people in other departments. Anything to confirm the positive view of our actions and values within the company.
When we can’t maintain that positive confirmation, it isn’t pretty. Physical consequences like anxiety and depression can threaten to pull us deeper into a spiral of poor behavior and, in turn, negative feedback.
This need to protect our psyche is how and why we end up creating, and subconsciously locking ourselves into our own echo chambers.
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
