How To Have What You Want Before You Need It
You’ve been there before, something you need from someone to get what you want.
The moment you’re in that position, what you need won’t happen.
The girl who wants a mate so bad she’s oozing with insecurity.
The employee who wants his manager’s approval so he kowtows for a promotion.
The girl’s mate goes with someone else and the manager promotes another.
Who do they go with? The person who already had.
But having comes from the inside, not outside — and you have to have on the inside first, to possess on the outside second.
This is counter intuitive because people who have internally, tend to also manifest what they want externally —or are often privileged enough to come from a place of both.
Rest assured, wherever it comes from and from how far back (family and upbringing) — one comes before the other.
This is the natural law of attraction — the other girl and employee who won the man and got the promotion already had everything they needed and were worthy of receiving.
Turns out, the girl (who lost) isn’t looking for a mate, she’s looking for security. She just doesn’t know she can have it now.
Turns out the employee wasn’t looking for a promotion, but self esteem that comes from the pride of his father’s approval — it’s sad he doesn’t know that he can have that self-esteem now.
I Found Myself Enjoying Giving To a Friend of Mine
I couldn’t put my finger on it but I kept giving to a friend of mine.
Nothing material but the things this particular friend needed — contacts, advice, business support.
They’re starting a business and don’t have a lot of money. I am not lovers with this friend in case you’re wondering. This friend may appear to many to be struggling given they’re a first generation immigrant here in the US, working hard to make it.
But this friend is voracious. This friend has so much inside and you can feel it. The voracious posts of abundance on Instagram. The self care through nurturing and putting themselves first in a way that’s loving to themselves and everyone around them.
I know for a fact this friend barely scrapes by financially, but this friend is so far from what you’d consider broke or poor. In fact, this friend possesses so much more wealth than many of the millionaires I know.
Therefore this friend is worthy, and already “successful”. This friend already possesses so much and has everything they need.
I find myself naturally loving this friend. With no expectation or possession attached.
Their days are filled with health and wealth — output filled with creativity and living voraciously at 100 miles per hour every day.
This friend is going to be a billionaire though they don’t even care if they become it — which is how I know they will.
That’s how you know this friend already possesses what they need.
This friend has people giving to them without asking.
An opportunity to live in an amazing apartment presented itself and corporate sponsors line up to support this friend.
What else could you want in life? Eating, sleeping and waking up. That’s all the wealth this friend ever needs and it’s very evident yet this yearning makes this friend work voraciously and I know this friend will change the world.
That’s the appreciation and abundance this friend sees in the world and therefore has before needing it from anyone or any “thing”.
Don’t Perceive What’s Lacking
If you do, it means you don’t have. Always see what’s there not what isn’t.
This is critical.
I have another friend who sees what’s constantly missing.
The “stressful” white-collar job, the dramatic days. The story creation of what’s not perfect.
This friend is perfect and great, but doesn’t know it yet.
I told this friend that they have everything they need, and they didn’t believe me. They told me they want to be married and have kids and are missing that.
I told them that’s not what they want, rather, they want security, survival and approval of others, which is what creates the lack and something they can have now.
They are programmed to believe marriage and kids will bring them those things though if they do get married and have kids — they’ll be in for a rude awakening to realize it isn’t.
Perhaps for a while — a very excited, happy while — then they’ll move on to find something else that’s lacking — because they themselves are lacking on the inside.
I told this friend before they’ll get married and have kids, they first need to be secure and approved of by the only person who matters, themselves — because people aren’t attracted to people who don’t love themselves.
This is how you manage all of the relationships in your life.
You realize what you’re seeking from that relationship, and possess what it actually brings you first — security, approval self-esteem, status — all the things that matter, are free and can be had now.
And then you let things fall into place.
You can’t force external events, natural law requires timing to be right.
If you don’t have on the inside, you don’t deserve the thing on the outside — yet. This isn’t harsh, it’s just the law of natural selection.
If I have to pray for someone to do something to get what I want, I don’t deserve it yet.
If you need a person to move a mountain to get you what you need, you don’t deserve it yet — because even if it came, you wouldn’t know how to handle it, and that’s never natural or sustainable.
The marriage that ends in divorce.
The young gun with high expectations who couldn’t handle the pressure.
I have a list of people I’d like to joint venture with which would probably accelerate my growth, but I don’t deserve it yet and will know exactly when I do because it will happen without force — they’ll likely come to me first.
I’ll be in their world.
They’ll know me and my work.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to add value to the world and their lives until it’s beyond evident I’m worthy of joint venturing with them. I know it will happen when it’s supposed to.
If you need that woman to marry you so you can be whole by having kids, you don’t deserve her yet.
If you did deserve her, it wouldn’t matter if she was attracted or not and she naturally would be anyway — she would feel you had everything you needed already — so it wouldn’t matter.
Oh the irony of it all.
If it didn’t matter, you’d stay out of your own way and never get in it.
If you weren’t in your way and let things happen, everything would happen as it should.
And if you realized you had everything you need, you ultimately would.
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