How to Manage Former Peers

Photo Credit: Karl Fredrickson

If you recently transitioned into a management role, you know that managing former peers can be challenging.

You want to maintain personal relationships but aren’t sure whether doing so will give the perception of favoritism. To compound the problem, some of your closest friends may be on the team, which can make performance conversations even more difficult than usual.

In my last job, I made an exciting but uncomfortable leap up two rungs of the corporate ladder. I was promoted from Team Lead to Director, which meant I immediately became my boss’s boss.

One day I was everyone’s peer. The next day I was managing a department of 160 people — a department that included numerous close colleagues and two of my best friends.

I immediately faced a slew of questions I had never encountered.

Should I grab beers after work with team members? Should I participate in non-work-related conversations I overhear on the team? How could I maintain and develop my friendships without showing favoritism?

Every leader’s solution to these questions is slightly different. I will not presume to tell you how you should handle these situations. However, I strongly believe it’s in your best interest to create a few personal ground rules for interacting with your team.

Personal Ground Rules

Above all, seek to be fair and recognize that your actions have consequences. Like it or not, people will be watching how you conduct yourself. Be mindful of that and consider how your actions could be perceived within your team.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself about your interactions:

• Happy hours: It’s common for teams to get together after work to grab drinks and socialize. When those situations arise, do you want to join? If you do, how many drinks will be your max?
• Social media: Are you going to be Facebook or Instagram friends with your team members? If you do decide to connect with employees online, what will you do if you see one of them post something controversial or sensitive (e.g. a complaint about the company, an offensive comment, a lewd joke, etc.)?
• Sharing information: As the saying goes, “Knowledge is…