How You Get There Matters
If You Desire to Live a Rich, Full, and Meaningful Life
Does life have to be a constant struggle? Does it have to be such a grind?
The more I ask these questions, the deeper I look for answers. What I am discovering is that we indeed can enjoy the journey, more than the destination.
Through reading countless books, and a lot of personal reflection and discovery, I’m learning that how you get there, not only matters but is crucial to living a life of meaning and purpose.
The only way to meaning, purpose, and fulfillment is by living true to your authentic self.
Do you want to live a richer, fuller, and more meaningful life? Then this is for you…
I find that the most important step, with anything I do, is to first know why it is important and meaningful to me.
The answer is found in my values.
In this article, I will walk you through how I, and many others, have gotten clear on who they are through discovering their values.
Let’s dive in…
We Are Either Cultivating Hopelessness Or Creating Purpose.
By neglecting our values, and living life reacting to what happens to us we are cultivating hopelessness in our lives. We become the victim, leading to a life of apathy, mediocrity, and even depression.
When we create purpose, we are engaging fully with our values, setting our intentions every moment in how we will show up next. This literally creates a life of vitality, inspired action, meaning, and fulfillment.
If you were to reflect back on the past week, did you spend more time cultivating hopelessness or creating purpose?
We Often Mistake Other People’s Values as Our Own.
We are told at a very young age how we should act, and what we should believe.
Many of us have had great parents and role models that have cared for us, helping us grow into who we are today.
But when we’re simply told how to be, without ever checking in with ourselves to see what resonates with us and why we lose touch with our inner self.
Mistaking someone else’s values as your own leads to striving to please others, constantly seeking affirmation, oftentimes, in unhealthy ways.
Living this way ultimately prevents us from ever discovering what’s most meaningful and true for us.
Find your inner-spark, fan it into a flame, and light the way toward creating what you desire.
Creativity, fulfillment, meaning, inspiration, and vitality all originate from within, from our intrinsic values.
First, let’s get clear on what values are…
What Values Are, and What They Aren’t
Our values tell us how we desire to show up in the world, and how we choose to engage with life in the most meaningful way possible.
People often mistake goals for values. Our values are not a destination to reach, nor something for us to get.
Being loved and respected by others is not a value. But acting with love and compassion is.
Values are adverbs — they describe how we take action
Goals are nouns — they are what we want to get or receive
Goals are great, but without instilling them in your values, you are setting yourself up for an empty pursuit.
I’ve learned that my values are more empowering than my goals because I can choose them at any time and they are completely in my control.
Values not only inform what our goals are but how to pursue our goals in the most meaningful way possible.
Goals are what you want and values inform why you want them.
You might want to make a million dollars, become a CEO, or a successful entrepreneur. These are great and exciting goals.
But, how you get there matters. There are many ways to the top but will you like who you are when you get there is the real question.
If you pursue your goals with a values-first mindset, the destination becomes less important.
Your values are a compass, forever with you, that you’ll use to guide your next step.
And wherever it leads, you can be sure it will be a meaningful and fulfilling destination.
So let’s get started..grab a pen and your journal.
How to Discover Your Values
Below is a four-step process of discovering your values. I’ll ask you to first reflect on your life, and explore what you’ve found most meaningful in your past.
Through this process you will begin to discover what’s most important to you, allowing you to define your values.
“Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” — Steven Pressfield
Four Steps To Discovering Your Values
This exercise sets the direction for your life and leads to what you desire most (even if you’re not quite sure what that is — the action you take will land you in a very fulfilling and meaningful spot)
1) Reflect
Remember we are looking for adverbs so write with some emotion
Write out three accomplishments over the past 10 years that you are most proud of.
What was the experience like for you? Can you remember specifically what made you the proudest? What was it like in the beginning as you just were getting started? Once you were finished, what did that feel like? Reflecting on what you spent your time doing, what did you enjoy most?
2) Explore
During your reflection, what consistencies showed up?
If you were to highlight the adverbs (your values) you wrote down, what are they? Remember, values are not goals, they are not about what you want to have or get, but how you want to live and who you want to be. Values are about you being your best most ideal self.
Write them all down (I recommend putting them into a word document — it will be easier to sort them later)
3) Summarize
Now, take what you have captured in the above and group them into themes, summarizing them down to 5–10 values (i.e. Adventurous, Curious, Growth-Oriented, Courageous, Faithful)
Next, go back over the values you wrote down. If you had to pick your top three values, what would they be?
4) Define
Take your Big 3 Values and write a brief paragraph for each: What about these values are meaningful to you, and how do they inform who you want to be and how you want to show up in life?
Summarize these three paragraphs into a statement of your values, or in other words, your vision for living your best life today.
Engage Your Values and Experience An Effortless and Fulfilling Pursuit Toward Accomplishing What You Desire
By doing this exercise you’ve taken your first step to a richer, fuller, and more meaningful life. You are primed for success — you now have your compass in hand.
Remember, your values describe the actions in life you desire to take.
Fulfillment only comes through practicing your values.
Your values come alive as you take meaningful and inspired action toward what you desire in life.
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