I Don’t Have a ‘Passion’. What’s Wrong With Me?
Turns out, nothing at all.
Growing up, I wanted to be:
- A ballerina (inspired after watching the Nutcracker when I was 12)
- A chemical engineer (forget the fact I barely passed math, do you know how much they earn a year??)
- A CIA Profiler (SO cool)
- A Chef (until I realized I really only liked eating food)
- A therapist (the concept still sounds appealing, the reality a little less so)
- A movie director (this actually got me into directing plays which were fun!)
- A restaurateur (once I realized I didn’t want to cook I turned my sights to owning a restaurant)
- A professional MMA fighter (this one almost happened)
- An author (still a goal!)
That’s not the entire list. And here’s the thing — I’m still growing up. When I decided on marketing as my career goal, I was a bit worried. It felt safe. I don’t like safe. But the truth of the matter was my parents were concerned I would never settle on a discipline, given how quickly I changed my mind. And the things I really were excited about (law enforcement, movie directing) would never pan out given my health problems. So marketing it was.
And it always bothered me. I wasn’t doing what I was ‘passionate’ about, because work-wise, I didn’t have that fire in my belly for going to the office. I do love the psychology of marketing, and part of the reason I love cities is to check-out the different fonts and branding that store-fronts settle on. But it wasn’t this ‘jump out of bed in excitement’ drive that I had read about. That I expected to find. Didn’t that mean something was wrong with me?
Turns out, nothing is wrong with me.
Some people do get to pursue their direct passion, to turn that into their work and that’s awesome for them. But I’ve uncovered a different kind of freedom in my lack of finding that ‘one perfect thing’. I’ve realized that for the majority of us, it doesn’t really exist. But what is out there is the ability to use your work to uncover yourself. And that means if you decide to keep changing jobs till you find the one that brings out the version of you that you like best, go for it.
I love writing for that exact reason. It forces me to be introspective, to take these concepts in my head and translate it into not just written articles, but ones that can connect with people. That engages me. It brings out the version of me that puts more thought into what I do. And I’m down for that.
The best part about writing is that it doesn’t matter what your previous job experiences were, they will all help shape the way you write. In fact, I’ve loved each of my past jobs for their own unique reasons. And I love the different parts of me that I’ve uncovered in the process.
It’s like they say, ‘you don’t know how strong you are until something or someone tests your mettle.’ Well, maybe they don’t say that, but I do! And I believe it. I’ve learned how I process difficult bosses, impossible standards, and uncertainty. That has shown me parts of myself that I now carry into the next stage of my life.
And now, I’m a content writer for a market research firm. I slowly figured out what parts of marketing I loved, which I didn’t, and I didn’t stop until I was in a position where I now get to do something that really engages me.
We often talk about how relationships will help form you into the person you are. But don’t forget, in some ways your job is a type of relationship. Learn from it. And follow your gut. If it’s telling you it’s time to leave, it’s time to leave. Pack-up the lessons you’ve learned, glance in the mirror, and give that version of you a big thumbs up.
You aren’t a failure for not figuring out what ‘one perfect job’ you’re supposed to do for the rest of your life. You’re uncovering yourself and in doing so you’ll end up in a position where you are doing what truly excites you. Don’t stress about the timeline. Learn to enjoy the process.
