I Used to Be Famous

(A cautionary tale.)

For the longest time, I didn’t erase them.

80,000 notifications meant something. Each one offered me credibility and social proof. It offered fulfillment.

Every time I logged in to Medium, I could look at that number and think

“Oh, good. I am still somebody.”

This is what today’s technology offers: emotional satiation through numbers. Consider a species which has built systems so perfect the system itself becomes addictive.

I doubt our ancestors ever imagined such a thing.

It began, as most tragedies do, with hubris:

“I have conquered Medium, and now I will spread my greatness elsewhere!”

Primarily, I wanted a claim over YouTube and an email list.

I read these two platforms were good ways to monetization. I wanted money.

(Already I should have seen the problem. The pursuit of success leads to money, not vice versa.)

“I have to learn to be a businessman.”

This was the lie I told myself.

Ironically, I ignored the very statistics which I’d used to buoy my ego: