Joe Bagel
Joe Bagel
Feb 18, 2016 · 5 min read

If company slogans were honest

For more, follow The Silicontrarian

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Skype

Wanna try Google Hangouts?

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Google Maps

Sometimes, buses are late.

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Citymapper

Your bus is late.

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Transit App

Your bus is 5 minutes late.

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Apple Maps

……….bus?

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Uber

That will be $79.50 please.

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PayPal

That will be $81.50 please.

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Match.com

Wanna order sushi and watch some Netflix?

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OKCupid

Wanna order Dominos and watch some Netflix?

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Tinder

Wanna watch some Netflix?

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Grindr

Wanna?

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Dominos

……. your order is now ready.

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Foursquare

You are now the mayor of Dominos.

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Pinterest

Here’s what I wish my life looked like.

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Instagram

Here’s what I want you to think my life looks like.

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Facebook

Here’s what my life looked like in 2011.

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Snapchat

I am eating a burrito.

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Medium

Here are some articles you’ll never read.

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Twitter

Here are some links to articles you’ll never read.

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Pocket

Here is a curated list of links to articles you’ll never read.

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LinkedIn

Hello, I need a job.

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Slack

Hello, my job.

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Trello

Oh god, my job.

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Evernote

…………. job ideas.

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Google Hangouts

Am I still on mute?

You pick the slogan, we’ll build the app.

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