Joe Bagel
Joe Bagel
Feb 18, 2016 · 5 min read

If company slogans were honest

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Skype

Wanna try Google Hangouts?

Google Maps

Sometimes, buses are late.

Citymapper

Your bus is late.

Transit App

Your bus is 5 minutes late.

Apple Maps

……….bus?

Uber

That will be $79.50 please.

PayPal

That will be $81.50 please.

Match.com

Wanna order sushi and watch some Netflix?

OKCupid

Wanna order Dominos and watch some Netflix?

Tinder

Wanna watch some Netflix?

Grindr

Wanna?

Dominos

……. your order is now ready.

Foursquare

You are now the mayor of Dominos.

Pinterest

Here’s what I wish my life looked like.

Instagram

Here’s what I want you to think my life looks like.

Facebook

Here’s what my life looked like in 2011.

Snapchat

I am eating a burrito.

Medium

Here are some articles you’ll never read.

Twitter

Here are some links to articles you’ll never read.

Pocket

Here is a curated list of links to articles you’ll never read.

LinkedIn

Hello, I need a job.

Slack

Hello, my job.

Trello

Oh god, my job.

Evernote

…………. job ideas.

Google Hangouts

Am I still on mute?


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The Startup

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Joe Bagel

Written by

Joe Bagel

Semi-literate writer.

The Startup

Medium's largest active publication, followed by +539K people. Follow to join our community.

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