It’s Okay to be Discontent
My roommate asks me how my day was and I say, “Well, work was work.” She then asks why I sound upset. I tell her I’m not upset, I’m apathetic. I don’t love my job, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s not what I want to do with my life, but it pays the bills. I take a neutral stance on the current state of my career.
Despite what she thinks, this isn’t me being dramatic or pessimistic. It’s being realistic. Not everything in life is great and that’s okay. Admitting things are sometimes flawed allows me to make improvements and grow as a person. If you look at everything with rose-tinted glasses, you’ll miss the signs of wilting flowers.
Aggressive optimism dismisses four out of seven of your core emotions. These emotions range from sadness, fear, anger, joy, excitement, sexual excitement and disgust. Each one serves an important role in your navigation of the world. Fear keeps you safe, anger shows what you want, and disgust shows you what you don’t. Ignoring the negative core emotions will put you in some bad situations because you’ll be ignoring warning signs.
This isn’t to say we should all go around hating everything. There is a balance, a way to hate some things and love others. Feel your discontent, wallow in it if you need to. Then, get back up and do something about the situation.
Name the emotion
Discontent is a broad term and it helps if you can be as specific as possible. Unsatisfied is different from annoyed and calls for a different solution. When it comes to my career, I’m impatient. I have plans to be a teacher in the fall, and I’m incredibly excited to shape young minds. Till then, I’m churning out data reports at my day job. I enjoy this work, hell I studied marketing for four years, but it’s not what I want to be doing right now. I want to be teaching, but I can’t yet.
Envision what would be better
Again, be specific. Imagine exactly what you want so you know what you are searching for. For me, it’s a job that allows me to positively impact the world. Next, be honest with yourself about the probability of this ideal state. If what you are longing for is unrealistic, you’ll get trapped in a bubble of discontent. Nothing is perfect, that’s a hard truth of this world. Think of the cons you’d be willing to tolerate. For example, my ideal teaching job has me waking up around 6 am. I am not a morning person, but I’m willing to get up for a career I love. If the problem is your unrealistic expectations, find a way to adjust them.
Think of ways to fix the problem
Now that you know what your feeling, you can begin to address it. If you are unsatisfied, figure out what you need to feel more challenged. If you are annoyed, find a way to avoid the annoyance. As for me, I’m finding a way to do work I love right now (hence writing this blog post).
Discontent is a signal that things could be better. Slow down, examine the situation, and adjust as needed. Refuse to passively accept anything that is not whole, inspiring, healthy and good. Every silver lining has its cloud but if you aren’t watching for gray skies, you’re bound to get caught in a storm.
