THOUGHTFUL PARENTING

Kennedy and the Machine

8 Rules for Kids with Cellphones

Once my daughter Kennedy was old enough to stay home alone, the question of getting her a cellphone also came up. Suddenly, I was thrown into unfamiliar territory. Parenting is a challenge when the problem takes on weighty, almost absurd levels of symbolic meaning. And in today’s world, few things carry more power than the glowing screen of a phone — destroyer of innocence, bane of ambition and the ruin of many a teenager.

Despite the available parental control apps and some common sense (she doesn’t have access to any passwords), there is no question she has greater access to the world than I ever did at her age. As a kid, I remember walking across town just to flip through a Playboy magazine the neighborhood boys kept hidden under a rock in a grassy field. By comparison, her phone offers a lot more terrain with untold surprises lurking underneath the rocks. It’s incredibly nerve-wracking.

So I did what any naive parent would do. I created a list of guidelines for responsible phone use, hoping that words alone could inspire good behavior.

1. Do not lose the $600 supertoy.

This rule has not been a problem. Why did I even think this needed to be a rule? She knows where her phone is at all times, as it is always within arm’s reach. Now, if she could only be as diligent about her retainer.

2. Do not pull an all-nighter on YouTube.

Kennedy’s bedtime is 9 p.m., and we don’t want her up at all hours of the night watching internet videos on her phone. Here’s where a parental control app is handy. Many of these apps will allow you to set a schedule that shuts every app down. As a bonus, from anywhere in the house, I can tell when it’s 8:30 p.m. because I hear Kennedy shout in frustration when her phone locks up in the middle of a video. I take joy in the small things.

3. Do not use your phone to tune us out during dinner. That’s what TV is for.

Kennedy is good about leaving her phone alone when we eat together. From what I’ve observed, it’s the parents who have the problem. I remember taking my daughter out to lunch one afternoon. At the restaurant, I saw parent after parent…