Learn to Hug Your Haters

“Not answering a complaint decreases customer advocacy 100 percent of the time.”
— Jay Baer

Natalie Portman got a lot of press recently for wearing a cape to the Oscars that was embroidered with the names of all the un-nominated female directors from 2019. Another actress, Rose McGowan, then scoffed at Portman’s move on Facebook, calling it “an actress acting the part of someone who cares” and sarcastically describing Portman’s choice as the “kind of protest that gets rave reviews from the mainstream media for its bravery.”

Portman’s response was even-keeled. In a statement, she said “I agree with Ms. McGowan that it is inaccurate to call me ‘brave’ for wearing a garment with women’s names on it,” and defended her record of working with women in Hollywood when she had the opportunity — as well as trying to create more opportunities whenever she could. Rather than getting defensive, she used the moment to clarify her intentions: “I hope that what was intended as a simple nod to them does not distract from their great achievements.” It was a humble, gracious reaction.

Jay Baer is famous for his line “Hug your haters.” In other words, listen to all feedback — even the stuff that makes you cringe — and do something about it. This concept applies to every phase of building and marketing your product.

The more established your product becomes, the more places things can go wrong. Especially for younger users, it’s second nature to whip out a smartphone and broadcast a public complaint every time one isn’t happy with a product. The raw, concise nature of this type of feedback can be very damaging to your brand.

Ultimately, you’re not going to make everyone happy. That would be impossible. But you can differentiate your startup with great customer service and a proactive customer experience. You do this by listening to and respecting feedback — especially negative feedback. If you don’t respond publicly to negative public feedback, you make a bad situation worse. Answering a complaint is always the right solution. It doesn’t just assuage anger; it creates an opportunity to convert an unhappy customer into a brand advocate.

Now, when you’re in startup mode, it might seem overwhelming to track down every social media interaction your customers have with or about your company. The only way you can really pull this off is to build a company culture where each team member is enrolled in being “helpful,” like we talked about in the last section. Everyone, from the founder to the leadership to the entry level staff, must be socially engaged and committed to ferreting out the mentions. It has to be a unified collaborative effort.

Of course, there are crazy customers out there. They might not always be right, but often, there are shards of truth in what they’re saying. The reality is, they had a bad experience with your company or product, and now they want to be heard. It’s critical that you apologize and empathize — even with the crazy ones. Your response must be positive. It must be timely. And it must be personal. People can see right through a generic, canned response.

How to Respond to Negative Feedback

Be positive and apologetic, even if it’s not your fault.

Be immediate.

Be personal.

Mastering your social game is crucial not just because it’s public. With the shift to mobile over the last decade, and the abundance of online reviews, people turn first to their peers for information about products. Authentic online reviews carry more weight and are more credible than advertising, marketing, and PR controlled by brands. Research shows that people trust the recommendations of strangers as if they were their own friends.

Many brands try to manipulate this truth by creating fake reviews, but a far superior marketing tactic is to put your faith in actual customers. Give them a place to write reviews and then track these carefully. Respond not just to the negative reviews but to the positive.This is a great place to connect with customers about your brand status and to gain valuable product feedback — a concept we talked about over and over in our first book.

“If you’re not convinced that retaining customers is so valuable, consider research done by Frederick Reichheld of Bain & Company (the inventor of the net promoter score) that shows increasing customer retention rates by 5% increases profits by 25% to 95%.”
— Harvard Business Review

Your marketing strategy should be about creating relationships and retaining customers. For a startup or a small business with a slim budget, this is essential in order to grow and thrive. It’s a fundamental tenet of business that it’s far cheaper and easier get more revenue from your current customers than to constantly seek out new customers. Research and data universally supports the idea of long-term customers for most companies.

Haters are not the problem. Ignoring them is.