LIFESTYLE EXPERIMENT: Here is what happened when I said “yes” to everything for 1 days vs. “no” to everything for 10 days
My 10 days of saying “yes” vs. “no” to everything — lifestyle experiment
* FIRST PART: My first 10 days of saying “Yes” to all
Before yesterday, Friday, the first phase of the experiment was over. Yes to everything VS No to everything. It has been 10 days of yes to everything. All the “yes” that I have been able to. I have learned more than I imagined, I have lived in contrasting poles with quite interesting contradictions.
These are the quantitative parameters that I followed:
- “Yes” instead of “no”: when I said “yes” to something that I would usually have said “no.”
- Yes: “yes” they were not forced and yes natural.
- No: “no” not forced, simple.
- Avoid situation: when trying to avoid a job that required a “yes.”
- “No” instead of “yes”: when I gave a “no” that should be a “yes” for the phase of the experiment I was in.
- Rectifications: when I said “no” first, I realized it and then offered a “yes.”
- Things that stand out: outstanding facts within the “yes.”
- Surprising: anecdotes and moments that I considered as genuine within the “yes.”
- Unexpected: situations in which I was caught off guard and then gave in without realizing it.
Results on the dashboard
Here are the quantitative results obtained at the end of the 10 days of yes to everything:
- 20 “yes” instead of “no.”
- 50 yes.
- 11 no.
- 2 situations avoided.
- 7 “no” instead of “yes”.
- 4 rectifications.
And here the qualitative …
Things that stand out over the 10 days:
- Pay in cash a product that you would typically have paid by card or by the company.
- Donate all the purchase of the week to a person who ordered food when leaving the supermarket.
- Schedule a meeting with a multi-level marketing company.
- Let a friend drive my car
- Send 50€ to a follower for asking me on Instagram.
- Access to organize a conference and event in Castellón with Eduardo Reyes.
- Buy a lottery ticket at the Gas Station. And a pack of chewing gum, and an offer on sausages. And a loaf of wheat bread. In addition to a lack of air fresheners for the car. (Without consuming any of these foods)
- Commit to working on three new projects of which I have no idea about and do not fit in with my goals or pretensions.
- Confirm an online conference during World Escape Day.
- Listen to the offers from my phone company, change plans, acquire two new packages and hire a new line.
Surprising things worth mentioning
- Use my colleagues as a shield so I don’t have to say “no.”
- Travel to the other side of the country to give a free conference.
- Help my neighbor to hang pictures when I don’t have much idea about it.
- Commit me to one member of my team to go dressed as a woman to the next Stand OUT Program, in Alicante.
- Recognize a “no” instead of a “yes.”
- Saying “yes” to lying to myself.
- Recognize that they suck up to me unnecessarily.
- Assume responsibilities that don’t belong to me just for the sake of saying “yes”.
- Listen for 30 minutes to a commercial that sold credit cards and end up signing a plan.
Unexpected things that happened
- Say “no” to a commitment that I should have said “yes” to.
- Give a “yes” to a place for Stand OUT program Málaga.
- Give 10€ to a homeless person.
- Having to eat fideuá, here they played me good.
- Saying “yes” to try and buy a product you would never use.
- Work free for 4 hours.
- Give a “no” to the spice that Javi Macías offered me.
- Deal with and go to an unplanned meeting.
As I said, it has been something unusual, strange, quite uncomfortable and sometimes disconcerting. Nothing fun, I think.
10 days of Yes to everything
I have recorded a video to explain to you the rest of the experience lived in the first phase of yes to everything for 10 days, firsthand.
* SECOND PART: My last 10 days of saying “no” to all
What happens when you live for 10 days saying no to everything that crosses in front of you? It is what I have tried to answer in the last 10 days. It’s the second part of the experiment say Yes to everything VS say No to everything.
Of all those 10 days and what has happened, I have concluded a series of parameters and indicators that I had already used in the 10 days of saying Yes to everything.
In this report, I detail the highlights of this second phase of the experiment, say No to everything.
1. Definition of tracking parameters
- “No” instead of “yes”: every time I said, “no” to something that on a normal occasion I would have said “yes.”
- “No”: a natural “no” to say “no” because of that’s what needs to be said.
- “Yes”: affirmative answers without being forced.
- Avoid situation: the occasions that I have tried to dodge a “no.”
- “Yes” instead of “no”: situations in which I given a “yes” when it should have been a “no.”
- Rectifications: correct and amend a “yes” that should have been a “no.”
- Things that stand out: essential events to highlight referring to “no.”
- Anecdotal things: anecdotes which immersed by saying “no.”
- Unexpected things: situations that caught me off guard.
2. Results within the dashboard
These are the results of the quantitative parameters:
- 35 times “no” instead of “yes.”
- 70 times I’ve said “no.”
- 7 times I’ve said “yes.”
- Only once have I avoided a situation.
- 5 times “yes” instead of “no.”
- 3 rectifications.
3. Things that stand out
These are things that created a positive impact going the other way around, or when I said “No”:
I have a “Yes” to a woman who had heart problems and needed help to carry a series of suitcases. It’s something I would do again, when I saw the woman’s face, I was in trouble. I broke the experiment here.
I said four times in a row “No” to four favors that four different people asked me during the same day. One had to do with picking up one person, the other with sending information. Another with lending money and the last with a recommendation.
Say “No” to a job proposal that interested us. In addition to seeing how it escaped until we lost it.
Refusing to give feedback and opinion to all the professional issues that arose in a team for two days.
Give a “No” to a client’s question who asked if we were going to work more on the project.
Offer a “No” to two possible conference proposals that asked if it would be possible for me to give a conference for their events. Without knowing more details.
When they asked if I was going to share the information of the studies I was doing, I said “No” without giving further explanations.
A “No” in the form of “Yes” to a question in reverse. See a “Yes” as a “No” when the question asked is reversed.
4. Anecdotal happenings
Seven “No” to the same person on the same day. Resulting in conflict with that person.
Anyone around me stopped asking me for favors after the third day of the experiment.
Nobody from my closest environment dared to ask me if we could meet up or share a moment together.
I have not been late for any commitment in any of these 10 days.
Four petitions refused to lend money to four different people. Result: four skeptical people with “my experiments.”
Offer a potato omelet instead of a pizza to a woman who asked for food outside Open Cor in Valencia.
A “No” (that hurt) to undertake a new experiment.
5. Things that happened unexpectedly
You realize how you have “No” more controlled and assumed and it comes out more natural.
Getting used to saying no so much that on the eighth day you say “No” when you want to say “Yes.”
Missing a party and a trip for saying “No” and not even have heard about it.
Surprise yourself when you finish the experiment you say “Yes” as if you had done something wrong.
Experiments are a source of learning. At the same time that you live situations and moments that you don’t live in any other way.
Say No to everything
It’s curious to compare the results between yes and no. See when you are on one side and when you are on another hand, what happens on both sides and their contrasts. Saying “Yes” before has given me a different perspective of “No,” I wonder what would have happened if I had started the experiment the other way around.
There’s no doubt that you must say no to everything from time to time.
Say no to everything during 5 or 10 days and see what happens. Try it for yourself.
* THIRD PART: Saying “Yes” to everything vs. Saying “No” to everything: contrasts and conclusions
Yes and No, no and yes, yes and no. Saying yes to everything vs. Saying no to everything… What’s the difference? Is there a difference? Does it matter?
A few weeks ago I finished the experiment Yes VS №10 days saying yes to everything followed by another 10 days saying no to everything. Going from one extreme to another to appreciate the differences and contrasts of a life dedicated to pleasing, the “yes”, and another dedicated to pleasing yourself, the no. Regarding conclusions, I would like to give myself a few weeks to reflect and see what has changed in my behavior and daily performances.
Firstly, this is the video of the end of the first phase, the 10 days of yes to everything. This other one belongs to the second phase, 10 days of no to everything. Today I develop the differences, contrasts, and conclusions of both, the mixture of everything.
Saying yes to everything vs. Saying no to everything was something I had to monitor. As in each experiment, I used a scorecard that allowed me to track everything each day. The parameters were explained in the previous reports, but the scorecard wasn’t, although you can find it here.
When I look over the scorecard, I realized I had more problems than when I practiced “yes to everything”. That would be one of the quick conclusions to appreciate.
Contrasts for Yes and No
Saying yes to everything vs. Saying no to everything has, of course, its variations, these are the comparison I found out:
- The “yes” exposes you, while the “no” releases you.
- The more you say “yes”, the more likely you are to break emotionally speaking. On the other hand, the “no” keeps your feet on the ground, it stabilizes you, pervades you.
- The “no” guarantees control, while the “yes” means letting go of that power.
- In essence, “yes” is synonymous with vulnerability, unprotected. On the other hand, “no” in one way or another, makes you more invulnerable. You raise a barrier.
- “Yes” makes you less valued, while “no” makes you more taken into account.
- Using the “yes” makes you abandon your priorities, the “no” takes them back.
- “No” is disappointing now to love later, many times. “Yes” is to love now to disappoint later.
- Giving a “no” when you should say “yes” costs less than giving a “yes” when you need to say “no.”
- People who know how to use “no” live more calmly inside than people who can only say “yes.”
- “Yes” for “no” people are complicated, as is “no” for “yes” people.
Yes and No, conclusions
And finally, the findings:
- Saying “no” to everything doesn’t make you a better or worse person, it only enables you with the ability to earn more time for yourself.
- Answering “yes” to everything gives you the opportunity to do new things. It makes you valid to be selected. If that’s what you’re waiting for, to be chosen.
- The discomfort that I have felt saying “yes” to everything, I didn’t feel when I had to work with the “no.”
- More “no” more loneliness, more “yes,” more people around you.
- The most important thing I have learned from this experiment is not to learn to say “yes” or “no.” But to know when and how to use it, yes and no, both are powerful. The secret is to value it equally and then give them the paramount importance depending on the situation and person.
- Neither everything is “yes” always, nor everything is “no” always. As I said above, when you discover the extremes of both, as soon as you are aware of the choice and use of a “yes” or a “no,” you can recognize when you should use one or the other.
- After those 20 days of the experiment, I prefer “no.” You learn more, you grow more, and you use more than you do with the “yes.”
Yes and no, that’s to say, Saying yes to everything vs. Saying no to everything, both two effective but painful weapons at the same time.
[This post appeared first on isragarcia.com]
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Isra Garcia = 55 clients, 48 businesses advised, 400 speakings, 3.574 posts, 24 projects, 6 books, 380 lectures, 6 companies, 17 adventures, 26 experiments, ∞ failures. So far…