Image licensed from Depositphotos

Medium Addiction Is More Common Than You Think

Luckily There’s a 12-step program to help you defeat your problem

Kyrie Gray
Sep 9 · 4 min read

You tell yourself you can stop whenever you want, yet still you hit the refresh button on the stats page again and again in a hellish loop.

What was that quote about insanity being the act of doing the same thing and expecting a different result?

NO DON’T LOOK UP AN ARTICLE ON MEDIUM TO FIND OUT! Jesus Christ, there’s Google.

No need to cry. A lot of people are addicted to Medium. Particularly writers like yourself. Your friends and family are worried, that’s why they called me to help. Together we’ll get you through the following 12-step program and on the road to recovery.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Photo by Antor Paul on Unsplash

Step 6

Step 7

Oh, that looks like it hurt. Sorry about that. But I did warn you that was what the shock collar was intended for.

Step 8

Some of these drafts aren’t bringing you joy…let them go.

Photo by Claudia on Unsplash

Step 9

Step 10

Step 11

Step 12

Congratulations! You’ve completed the 12-step program! I’ll see you soon though, as relapses are common.


The Startup

Medium's largest active publication, followed by +541K people. Follow to join our community.

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Freelancer, comedian, and illustrator. Writes humor, practical advice, and about life. Check out Jane Austen’s Wastebasket for most of my funny scribbles.

The Startup

Medium's largest active publication, followed by +541K people. Follow to join our community.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade