My 5 Opportunity Costs in Being Successful, You Can’t Have Everything without Losing Something

We were taught that success is good and failure is bad, but what we were never told growing up is you have to be willing to pay the price upfront in order to be successful.

On top of hard work, you have to be willing to miss out on family events, parties or travel with friends, you must understand that nothing in life is free.

During my twenties, right after my graduation, while my friends were planning vacations and attended parties, I emerged myself with work while studying for my Accounting Designation.

I worked from 9 am to 7 pm, came home, cleaned up, ate and back to grinding and that was 2 years of my life.

I knew exactly what I was doing, instead of thrill seeking, I chose to climb corporate ladder until I lost myself along the way without knowing it.

That’s how the world works — to achieve the thing you want the most, you have to give something up. These are the things I’ve sacrificed along the way, some of which I sometimes miss, and others that I never do. And, I’ll tell you what, If I could choose again, I wouldn’t do one thing differently

1. Others’ Definition of Success

Success can be defined differently depends on what you are seeking in your life. For some is to be a great mother and for others is the amount of money in their bank accounts.

For me at the time was getting that position and the title that would put me on the map of one of the influencers in the company. Now that I got it, I felt quite empty.

It’s interesting, still, that our opposite definitions of success were deemed as equally unconventional by my friends and families. For my friends and family members I was considered too corporative.

For some people, greatness can be measured in fame and fortune. For others, it can’t. I learned this early on, and it helped me give up other people’s definition of success. It was the first thing I chose to kiss goodbye. In return, I got to express myself in the only way I knew how — through helping others who were as lost as me a few years ago.

2. Fear of Failure

Today, I’m proud to say I’m where I wanted to be, happy, fulfilled and cleared with what I want to do in life.

I’ve sacrificed most of my 20s to get where I am now. While others partied, I stayed home to work. But, letting go of their definition of success was not the only thing I had to do in order to reach my dreams. I had myself to fight against too.

For as long as I’ve known myself, I’ve been a hard worker and very self-critical. Nothing I’ve done was ever good enough to satisfy the expectations I’ve had, so eventually I stopped trying. My fear of failure was so paralyzing that I started to doubt whether or not I was ready and able enough to pursue my dream.

It was Steve Jobs’ example that helped me defeat myself. After having been booted from his own company, he remained fearless enough to start a new one. What would happen if Jobs gave up, I kept asking myself. So, I decided to gather what was left of my courage and to keep trying despite all odds.

3. Fear of Judgement

Fear of judgment was next. I couldn’t have cared less for my unambitious friends’ opinions, but I’ve always sought validation from those who were the closest to me.

It took me a while to realize that nobody, not even my parents, would have to live with consequences of my actions. I had my own cross to bear, and I decided to do so with dignity and without doubt.

Though my definition of success were different, my mission is to live my life’s vision to the fullest, which I do, not to convince others that my choices are valuable, meaningful and important.

4. Travelling Like Most of My Friends

The many late nights in the office and during the weekends while my friends were touring the world were quite painful but I knew that eventually I would have the opportunity to do the same.

I just needed to get my duck in the row, though it took longer than anticipated with a few regrets, I reached my first destination that I jotted down for myself right after university.

Letting go of open roads and accidental acquaintanceships was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Travels are my most expensive opportunity cost, the only thing I’ve sacrificed that I still miss. Every polaroid my friend sent me hurts, until I see my degree and recognitions framed on the wall.

Nowadays, I travel two to three times per year. Though travelling in your thirties is not the same as you were in your twenties, I’m quite grateful for the opportunity that I have every day.

Achievements are great if you don’t sell your soul for it.

5. My Baggage from My Past

We are a sum of everything that has ever happened to us, all the people that we have met, and all the choices that we have made.

Each experience is another lesson to live by, so we cling to them as hard as we can. To some, we attach ourselves so firmly that we become terrified of letting go.

Eventually, the baggage from our past, our memories and our souvenirs, become a burden that keeps holding us back.

For me, it was my mother’s condescend words and my self-doubt as my insatiable longing and unquenchable desire. In between the two of them, I felt immovable.

In time, I learned to separate my family and friends’ definitions of success from my own and to believe in myself no matter what.

Once I started to count my accomplishments and celebrate the tiniest victories, it came quite naturally to me. When I got my first promotion, I began to plan my very first vacation with my then boyfriend.

However terrifying or magnificent they were, I accepted that all of these things belonged to the past.

While the bad ones couldn’t hurt me from there any more, those that were good kept inspiring me to move on. To open the next chapter. To rejoice the opportunities that laid ahead.

No, you can’t always get what you want. But, as long as your dreams are clear, you don’t really need everything, don’t you?

Keep your eyes fixed on what you desire the most, stay true to your vision, and the right choice will reveal itself. That way, the things you sacrifice will be worth the things you gain.

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