I Think My Boss Hates Me…
My boss hates me.
I’m sure we’ve all uttered those words at some point in our professional careers. For one reason or another, your supervisor has disdain for you. It could’ve been for some unknown fault on your part or maybe your manager is having a bad day and you’ve taken the brunt of it. Either way, the tension between manager and employee can lead to low retention and high turnover rates. In fact, according to Forbes, 42 percent of workers stated they left a company because of a bad boss. So, what do you do when you encounter a bad boss?
First, you grab some gorilla glue and plaster all of their work-related equipment to their wooden desk. Second — ok, I’m joking. I’ve probably watched too many episodes of The Office and enjoyed Jim and Dwight’s back and forth pranks. But in reality, a bad boss can create a revolving door for any business.
“It was tough because I didn’t really understand what I did wrong. One day, things just kind of changed and I could feel it. Other people noticed it, but I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was an employee at the bottom of the barrel and there was no one I could talk to about it,” said Jasmine Rocha, an employee for a call center in Fort Worth, Texas.
Many employees feel the same way, especially within the entry-level positions. They don’t know which way to go and unfortunately, nearly half the time, the way they end up going is out the door of the company. Here are a few practical things you can do if you’ve come to the conclusion that your boss hates you.
Keep the Receipts
Keep the paper trail, whether electronically or physically. If there are emails between you and your boss that shows his or her “spiciness”, tuck those away in a special folder for “just in case” measures. Now, these messages should not be used as ransoms or blackmails to get your boss to acquiesce to your demands. This is not a Michael Bay movie, this is your professional career.
The receipts are there just in case you need proof of mistreatment. Now, these should only be used if necessary, but it is an important step in the process which is why it is listed first. You may not even need to use them after the next bit of advice, but it is better to be prepared than unprepared. So, hold onto all of them.
Request a 1–1
“I would highly suggest that the employee avoid assuming that their boss hates them. In addition, I would suggest for the employee to have a conversation about their role expectations and their boss’ expectations,” said Vercedes McCain, an employee relations manager.
For an employee under distress by their boss, one thing you can do is request a one-on-one meeting. That should always be the first option. One of the main duties of your boss is to be accountable to their direct reports. They have to make sure that you, as an employee, can perform your job well without any roadblocks and to remain available when needed. With that in mind, send an email to your supervisor. If they don’t respond, stop by their desk and bring it to their attention verbally.
“Hey, Ms. Jones, I sent you an email requesting a meeting. Can you tell me if you received it?” (If your supervisor comes off a bit snappy in person, then you may need to skip directly to the next step in this article. If not, then proceed.)
Clear the air. There is a chance that you may not have met some of your job expectations. Another possibility? Perhaps they don’t know that they are mistreating you. Perception is everything. I know we’ve all seen the picture of two people staring at the number 9. One person is above the number, the other is below. The person above sees the number “6” but the person below sees the number “9”. They are both right from their point of view.
Your perception of your manager’s feelings towards you could be off. A cold shoulder? Or your manager was just so busy that they didn’t notice you waving them over? An ignored email or your manager thought he or she pressed “send” but never completed the process. Not saying that you don’t have a valid reason to feel that your boss hates you, but things may not be as bad as they seem. A one-on-one should do much to clear the air between the two of you.
Contact Another Manager or Supervisor
If you’ve requested a one-on-one and your manager has not responded, then it is time to go another route. More times than not, your manager’s peer be able to get through to your boss in ways that you can’t. Pull another manager to the side and let them know the issue. Don’t get into the nuts and bolts of it if you don’t have to, but mention that you are having a problem with your manager and you need some assistance landing a one-on-one meeting.
If the supervisor is willing to assist you, perhaps even stand in as a mediator, it will go a long way to help to ease the tension between you and your boss. If that still doesn’t work, then it may be time to contact their supervisor, which more times than not, will be a member of the executive team.
Over Their Heads
Above all, “always be professional,” said McCain. “Don’t take everything personally. Some things could be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation. But, if you do encounter a problem that becomes unbearable, I would urge that employee to speak up. Not with insults or animosity, but with professionalism. Don’t sit in silence and take whatever comes at you, especially if it is uncalled for.”
You may feel like you can’t approach an executive team member with your concerns. However, if you have tried all options until this point, then you have taken the right steps. Once the meeting is granted, those receipts will come in handy. Now, you have a documented trail of negative interactions between you and your supervisor in your back pocket. Keep your emotions in check and don’t allow your anger and frustrations to rule.
The meeting could reveal the fact that your manager is overwhelmed with work or stressed out about the number of direct reports that they have. In the end, you may realize that it had nothing to do with you. Stressed out mid-level managers usually take their frustrations out on those who report to them — and, if it weren’t for you going over their heads to request a meeting with their superior, then the issues may have continued being swept under the rug.
Whatever you have to do, be sure to get to the bottom of it. A lot of people quit their jobs because of a bad boss. However, if you love everything about your job except your manager, then it might be better to address the issue — instead of throwing away the house because of a small crack in the wall.
