New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work. Here Are 5 Things You Can Do Instead
Welcome to (almost) 2024! However, the buzz of people talking about their New Years Resolutions is at an all-time high. We see it everywhere, especially all over our social media. But here is the thing, New Years Resolutions DO NOT WORK. Let me ask you, have you ever actually succeeded in a NYR? If so, how long did that last? I talked with world-famous ICF Master Certified Coach Carol Gwynn Solomon (disclaimer: my mentor) about why people keep setting themselves up for defeat each and every year:
If you think about New Year’s resolutions, the problem with setting the same goal every year is that it wears away at your own belief that you can achieve it. Like quitting smoking — losing weight, exercising more, eating healthier — every time you don’t achieve the goal, it reinforces in your own head — “I set goals and don’t achieve them.” So you are starting out with a negative mindset. In many ways, that is worse than not setting the goal at all. If nothing changes, then the future will resemble the past.
As counterintuitive as it may seem, many change efforts end up reinforcing the problem because there’s this feeling in the gut that it’s not going to work, or it’s going to be too hard, or whatever the struggle is and most of the time that is what we choose for our NY resolution.
Why do we do that? Why do we choose a NYR that we know in our gut that it won’t work out? A lot of this can be attributed to our inner critic. We want to change something, but we have that voice in our heads telling us “can you really do that?” and you go, “yeah, I can, and I am going to try”. Don’t get me wrong, trying is what you should do. But the trap has already been laid. So here are 5 things that you can do to avoid the trap of not accomplishing what you set out to:
#1 Figure out WHY you want to change something.
WHY is this important to you? If it is losing weight, why is that? Dig deep and figure out WHY you want this for your future and write it down.
#2 Once you know your WHY and the goal you want, DO NOT set a deadline.
The word Deadline is not a good one. The origins go back before the Civil War per Miriam Webster:
…Some of the earliest mentions of deadline come up in 1863, preserved in diaries kept by captive soldiers during the Civil War… …with the somewhat harsher definition of “a line drawn within or around a prison that a prisoner passes at the risk of being shot….”
So let’s not use the word deadline ok? If you have a TIMELINE, again, figure out at the gut level WHY you want to have this goal done by then.
#3 Take your goal and break it down into really small chunks. Like crazy small.
If losing weight is the goal, then your goal for a week would be to (insert your own exercise here) or (eating more fruits and veggies X times per week). It does not have to be every day and it should be something you can easily do. If it is exercising, great, do that exercise for 2 minutes. That is it, nothing more. When you are ready, increase it just a little. What we are doing here is building positive reinforcements that you can do it and you ARE doing it.
#4 Get a buddy to do it with you or someone that you can share with them what you have been able to achieve.
Having someone else there is a great way to keep that inner critic at bay and help you stay accountable, not to the other person, but to yourself. This step is often overlooked and is crucial to you continuing towards your goal.
#5 Give yourself a break. Seriously, you need to be kind to yourself during this process.
If you slip up and miss a day or don’t follow through on what you said you were going to do, THAT IS OK. This is where things can go off the rails. If you beat yourself up for “failing” (article about Failing coming soon) then that is the perfect food for that inner critic… “See, I told you you could not do it! Just give up already, you were not able to do this even though you said you could”. If instead of beating yourself up you give yourself a break you are providing self-compassion... “Ya know, it is a bummer I did not do what I said I was going to do, but that is ok, no one is perfect. I forgive myself, and I believe in myself to try again tomorrow”.
That is it — If you can follow these 5 steps not only will you be able to actually accomplish what you set out to do but you will have built muscle memory and confidence to apply this to all different parts of your life. You got this!
Josh Zimmerman is an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and owner of a highly successful, international coaching practice with clients in North America, Europe, Asia, and Australia.
He has been featured in The New York Times,Slate, Forbes, TubeFilter, 6 Feet Apart with Alex Wagner (NBC and ShowTime), where Alex stated: “We all need a Josh Zimmerman Life Coach in our lives…”, moderated panels and given talks for Playlist Live,Patreon, VidConNow, Instagram/Facebook, Pinterest, TikTok UK, TikTok Canada, TikTok AUNZ, and was asked by the President of SAG-AFTRA to speak to all the members of the guild. He serves as a Judge for the prestigious Shorty Awards, and is a faculty member of MentorCoach, a top ICF Coaching School.
Josh is proud to serve as a volunteer for “Advance” as Motorcade Lead working with The United States Secret Service, Local and State Government Agencies when political leaders, candidates, and nominees are in the greater Los Angeles area.
Find out more about Josh’s successful Creator Coach practice, follow him on LinkedIn, or email him, Josh@CreatorCoach.com
