Not knowing what to do in life is OK — you got your whole life to figure it out!
An honest reminder to trust the timing of your life.
I remember the day when I was first introduced to my guidance counselor. I had just turned 12 and was so excited to be back in school after the summer vacation. Seeing my classmates after almost two months and spending time together in recess playing soccer, definitely counted for more than writing fictive stories about birds and growing garden cress (and yes, I was the ponytail running around the boys playing soccer. I wasn’t good at it, but I liked the team spirit and being part of something)!
A couple of weeks into the new semester, my teacher came into the classroom with a stack of binders, magazines, and newspapers. She was accompanied by someone I hadn’t seen before. He had a somewhat awkward look on his face — as if he was trying to hide the fact that he didn’t feel comfortable around a bunch of 12-year-old kids. Our teacher introduced him. His name was Finn.
“Finn is your guidance counselor and will be visiting a couple of times a year from now on till you leave secondary school. He will help you find your path based on what you would like to become when you grow up. He will help you narrow down the direction of your life.”
“He will help you find your path based on what you would like to become when you grow up. He will help you narrow down the direction of your life.”
Honestly, this wasn’t what she said word by word, but this was my takeaway from the introduction of Finn, and that’s what matters in this context. I knew from the moment my teacher entered the classroom with him that this wasn’t going to be a regular Tuesday morning class. No, this was our first counseling session. Remember, I was 12 at this point.
We all got a binder and were handed a stack of paper, magazines, old newspapers along with the briefing: create a mood board of what you would like to do when you grow up. I immediately started browsing through the magazines to find pictures of dogs and horses. Ever since I was little, I’ve been surrounded by animals and following from my love for these furry, four-legged beings; I naturally saw my future self as a vet.
Well, this changed…
Fast-forwarding to Finn’s next visit, I had created a new mood board that included horses only. Now, I wanted to become a professional horse trainer. And, so it continued for a couple of years. I kept changing my mind. The mood board exercises were replaced with in-depth questions, surveys, individual counseling sessions, and company visits to give us a sense of what’s life was really like once we left school and university.
By the time I left 9th grade, I was convinced I was going to study law and become a badass lawyer like the ones you see on Netflix, helping the good guys fight the bad guys. So, choosing which subjects to major in was an easy decision.
I was so stuck on the idea of becoming a lawyer that I only attended seminars on studying law at job fairs. Two years in a row, I sat in on a keynote about the real life as a lawyer. I wasn’t challenged by anyone to consider other opportunities, so I went with what I thought was my gut feeling…
…at least until I had to submit my university application. The reality is, or was, that deep down, I always knew that this wasn’t the right direction for me. Throughout high school, I found comfort in knowing what I wanted to do in life. It made everything easier even though it was all a cover!
Throughout high school, I found comfort in knowing what I wanted to do in life. It made everything easier even though it was all a cover!
Whenever someone asked me, “What do you want to become when you grow up?” It was easy. Without hesitation, I would say, “I’m going to be a lawyer.”
Looking back, I don’t regret eventually skipping out on studying law and instead choosing to study communications. I believe it was right for me at the time. However, I do sometimes question how I came to this decision, and it makes me think back at my time in primary school. I had just turned 12 and was already presented with the future — my future.
My parents always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. They would support me no matter what. My guidance counselor saw things a bit differently. He was the objective bystander who strongly encouraged me to find a path in life. Not two, three, or four directions, but one! He didn’t motivate me to take several roads. But why?
I’m still puzzled about this. I know reality kicks in eventually and studying forever to find your true calling isn’t what most people aspire to do — or can afford. But what really makes me wonder is, why do we have to lay out our direction in life so early on? Why chase some version of success if that isn’t what makes you tick.
Why do we have to lay out our direction in life so early on? Why chase some version of success if that isn’t what makes you tick?
There will be several of you reading this, who have always known what you want to do in life. That’s great! But, I’m not one of them, and I’m probably not alone. Why limit ourselves when we can do anything? Why not explore our talents and discover what we really love and are good at?
You might end up choosing something that you don’t like, but there’s nothing wrong with not making the right decision the first time around. In fact, what’s wrong with not making the right decision at all?
In high school, I found comfort in knowing what I wanted to do in life. Now, I find comfort in knowing that there’s so much out there still to try, to explore! It makes me excited for the future rather than scared. So, not knowing what you want to do in life is OK, you got the rest of your life to figure it out!
