Not People Pleasing Immediately Won Me a New Client

I didn’t answer his emails

I had a potential client who haggled over money. He sent me a very long, emotional email explaining his situation. If he was going to pay ___, he wanted ___ and ___.

The old me would have tried to “convince.” Or even comfort. This time, I just ignored him.

Two weeks later, he returned with even better terms and a signed contract (with his employer footing the bill) that he wrote himself. I didn’t have to lift a finger.

When I try to convince, I lose. When I know my value, I always win.

Hold Space, Don’t React

Eckhart Tolle tells a story about a woman who comes over to his house at 3 AM. She’s pissed about some slight from her landlord. Eckhart silently listens to her rant, giving her no reaction (I love picturing this). He’s not comforting her, but he’s also not telling her to be quiet. He’s just holding space.

After a while, the woman runs out of her own steam, says, “This is silly, isn’t it?” And goes home.

There is something so powerful about not reacting to people in an emotional knot. Depending on your personality, you will be tempted to either comfort (people please) or get angry (react).