On Resolutions and Goals
Resolutions can be the fuel that drives our success, or the gunk that fills our engine and causes poor performance. January 17th is affectionately known as Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day. I am proud to say that I made it to January 19th before canning my resolutions. I made it twelve percent further down my journey than many others, but can I really can I consider that a success?
Yes, it facetious, that’s the point. I haven’t canned my resolutions, but am in need of serious reflection.
The end of 2019 was eventful. My wife and I had our first child. We hosted Christmas with our in-laws. We scrambled at 11:57 PM on December 31st to try and find a way to watch the ball drop while; eating pop-tarts, toasting with a warm bottle of champagne, and feeding our newborn. We also sat down and put together what we anticipated to be our ideal goals for 2020.
We typed our goals and meticulously arranged and rearranged their layout to make the perfect map to achieving our 2020 dreams. Seven versions later we both sat back and deemed the printout worthy of being taped to our bedroom mirror, which we both agreed would hold us completely accountable for the remainder of the year. These resolutions varied, ranging from promoting work life balance, writing, exercise, cooking new recipes, eating family dinners at the table, family walks, and reading.
The first week looked beautiful, which it usually does under new plans. We both offered our “best selves” and achieved 100% completion of our goals. Fast forward to the third week and I hadn’t done a single one of my resolutions.
Resolutions cover many topics, but a common thread is that perfectionism can be the quickest way to derail your goals. What seem to be the best laid plans do not always make sense when put into motion.
Not everything in life works out the way it’s planned. Take writing as an example, I had the romantic image in my head that I would be sitting down, writing at my desk with a candle flickering while drinking a hot cup of tea. Reality is my wife is out for an appointment, I’m dictating my thoughts into my phone as I’m getting out of my shower to head into the nursery to comfort my crying child who woke up from a nap and is ready to feed. I can feel our 2020 goals glaring at me from their perch on the bedroom mirror.
I envy those who can attain perfectionism in their goals. I envy those who can even hit the 50% mark on a consistent basis. It is hard to carve out enough time in our busy lives. When you do have precious free time, snaking sink drains that are clogged and vacuuming up a rubber mat your cat shredded take precedence.
I appreciate the rock stars that are able to do anything they set their mind to. The ones with the motivation to stay up all night. They are further along their path and have been working hard to eliminate all non-essential tasks and find the right balance for their life. These individuals are no different than top athletes, they are just training a different set of skills. We wouldn’t be mad if a few weeks of training didn’t allow us to be a walk on for our favorite sports team. Similarly, we can’t beat ourselves up for not being able to emulate the top performers in personal development and goal achievement.
It’s easy to feel like a failure when you don’t “check the box” on your daily goals. However, actions can be more important than a plan. Don’t mark yourself a failure for missing a day, what is more important is continued improvement. Don’t let that first blemish on a perfect year derail you. Treat it like the first dent on a new car. Yeah, it stinks, but take a breath, relax, and focus on what’s next.
Perfection isn’t important, what’s important is constant improvement. Striving for perfection is what causes today to turn into tomorrow, tomorrow to turn into next week, next week into next month. Perfection causes you to be looking at the same starting line a year later.
Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, being average is okay. You might not achieve your goals as fast, but you’ve started the journey and are taking steps in the right direction. Do the best you can, but don’t make excuses. Be honest with yourself, only you know if you have time in your schedule where you could be working toward your goals. You know if you were scrolling social media for 30 minutes when you could have been reading a book or learning about a topic of interest.
Find a spot, one spot, any spot, where you can put your foot down and start gaining traction. Average achievement raises your floor and creates a jumping off point to the next level of success. Be proud of what you are able to accomplish. Constant improvement is the key. Keep things in perspective and be fair to yourself. There are enough critics in the world. Hold yourself accountable, but don’t tear yourself down.
