Perfectionism is Self-Punishment
If there’s one thing standing in the way of me and my own happiness, it’s the holy ideal of perfectionism. If only I can stick the landing, do everything just right, color inside the lines, and follow the rules, I will achieve greatness. I will be safe. I will be able to finally relax.
This is exhausting. I know this. Yet I keep doing it.
Why perfectionism lies to us
Perfection is safety. And if I can just get it right, I will be safe.
You can be a perfectionist about anything. Personal finance. Food. Closet storage. Art. Writing. Duolingo lessons.
Obviously, I’ll nail self care if I go to bed at 9:00pm every night after a bath and don’t look at my screen after 8:00. Surely I will achieve nirvana if I drink 150 ounces of water per day. If I keep my inbox at zero, I will breathe easier.
This perfectionist tendency has been with me since childhood and it is linked to trauma.
Because they can’t get mad and punish you if you do everything exactly as they want you to do it.
Perfection is safety. And if I can just get it right, I will be safe. There won’t be anything for me to do over or correct or suffer through.
