Questions to Increase Your Confidence

“Confidence comes from what you say to yourself” — Michael Gervais

Most people think they need more confidence, but they don’t.

Sometimes you’re going to feel anxious or even scared but you can still take action and do what’s important to you.

Although, when you’re confident everything is a lot more enjoyable.

Do you want to know how you can have more confidence?

Here are three questions for you to answer that will result in greater confidence; and therefore, more energy and focus to accomplish your goals.

Ask yourself…

1. What is a significant challenge that I’ve overcome, how did I do it?

It’s far too easy to focus on your perceived failures, but what about your successes? What have you done in your life that truly makes you proud?

What does it say about your ability to do difficult things?

Own your successes and turn them into stories you tell yourself when you need to most.

If you’re like most people, these empowering stories get pushed aside by your perceived mistakes and failures.

Search back through your life’s story. Find the truth of who you are and what you’re capable of. Use it to feed your confidence.

Tell the story that leads you to believe in yourself and your abilities.

2. What have I done to prepare for this moment?

Are you familiar with the what if loop that often can be on repeat in your mind?

What if that goes wrong, what if I forget, or what if they don’t like it, and on it goes.

Shift your thoughts to how you’ve prepared for this moment. Reflect on the books you’ve read, the life experiences you’ve had, and trust the work that’s gone into preparing you for this moment.

You’ve trained for this, you’ve worked hard for this, and you are ready. Turn yourself loose and go do it.

3. What true things could I be saying to myself right now that would empower me to be at my best?

It’s interesting that when we are lacking confidence paranoid assumptions start to creep into our mind.

You start to make up stories.

The simplest example I can think of is getting an email where the only message reads “call me”. It’s written one way but I read it to say “call me right away or I am going to find someone more competent then you to do the job.”

I call them, and they just wanted to see if I had plans for the 4th of July and they’re inviting me to a BBQ!

It’s crazy I know, but how often do you get into a panic over things that aren’t true?

This question, “what’s true?”, is most helpful. Instead, of making assumptions, make observations. So and so wants me to call them—that’s it!

Summary

Our habits of mind are what make or break our confidence. Start with these three questions to increase your confidence:

• “What significant challenge have I overcome, how did I do it?”
• “What have I done to prepare for this moment?”
• “What true things could I be saying to myself right now that would empower me to be at my best?

AN EXAMPLE OF CONFIDENCE

Winston Churchill wrote in his memoirs on the Second World War what he was thinking the night he learned he was to be the Prime Minister of Great Britain.

It’s very survival was now in his hands. And this is what was going through his mind:

”…I went to bed at about 3 A.M., I was conscious of a profound sense of relief. At last, I had the authority to give direction over the whole scene. I felt as if I were walking with Destiny, and that all my past life had been a preparation for this hour and for this trial. Eleven years in the political wilderness had freed me from ordinary party antagonisms. My warnings over the last six years had been so numerous, so detailed, and were now so terribly vindicated, that no one could gainsay me. I could not be reproached either for making the war or with want of preparation for it. I thought I knew a good deal about it all, and I was sure I should not fail. Therefore, although impatient for the morning, I slept soundly and had no need for cheering dreams.”

WINSTON CHURCHILL, THE GATHERING STORM

Now that’s confidence!

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