Resilience & The Power of Acceptance
We cannot control much of what will happen to us in life, ‘Shit Happens’.
In my last article, I looked at what are some of the qualities of resilience — Strength and Flexibility. Next is the mindset of resilient people.
But if we are to be resilient in hard times, we can make our lives a little easier by true acceptance of the fact that — Suffering is a part of life, of being alive.
Resilience is built on the foundation of fully accepting this fact.
Resilience in times of extreme suffering
If you ever want to read a book that describes real-life examples of the most extreme suffering it is ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by author-psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. In the book he describes his struggle for survival in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps. It details his observations of the prisoners, and his own experience, which eventually led to his discovery of logotherapy.
This book is full of wisdom and profound quotes. Here are a few passages I have highlighted; I feel succinctly explains the importance of acceptance:
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfil the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”
And famously the quote by Nietzsche:
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
The aim of acceptance is to avoid the ‘why me’ paradigm. To accept that times of hardship are part of living. There is meaning in the suffering.
Rather than “Why Me?!”, ask ‘What can I learn from this?’
The Obstacle is the Way
Another great book on resilience and overcoming adversity in life is Ryan Holiday’s book ‘The Obstacle is the Way’.
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius
When we face impossible situations, we find the astounding triumphs we all seek.
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”
Seeing challenges as ‘part of life’ is a mindset shift that will serve you well.
“isness’
In the Power of now, Eckhart Tolle explains a state of acceptance:
“The moment that judgement stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind.”
He describes a state where you accept what is, the ‘isness’, the present. In doing so you can create a sense of inner calm. Ekhart Tolle’s message is simple: living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment.
Acceptance can be difficult. When you are in these situations it can be difficult to find reason in the suffering. It can be easy to fall into the ‘why me’ paradigm.
However, Ekhart Tolle’s ‘living in the now’ promotes acceptance of what is and by staying in the present moment (rather than regretting the past or getting anxious over the future) you can free your mind of this burden. In doing so, you will see the present much clearer and be able to take action in the ‘now’.
How can you develop a mindset of acceptance?
I have a few passages of various books highlighted and written in my journal (The Obstacle is The Way, Man’s Search for Meaning and The Power of Now are a few favourites) for times when I am struggling, that I re-read when I need them.
Reading these passages puts my worries into perspective and act as a great reminder that adversity and struggling are a part of being alive.
If I want to truly live, I must accept the good with the bad.
