Screw hustle — this is how to manage and prevent burn out.
Listen, I get it.
The startup grind is real. It takes an intense laser-focus to move mountains, achieve the impossible and prove everyone wrong. As an entrepreneur — I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t live for the moments that are crunch-time. Those minutes where my back is against the wall, I’m fighting the clock and everything is on the line.
It’s in those moments where we’re able to prove that we’re made of something a little more than human.
What’s scary is that it can be like a drug. The minutes turn to hours. Hours turn to days. Hours drag on until everything is fuzzy and big chunks of our lives have ticked away.
Somehow in the chaos that entails we find ourselves so focused on the urgent fire in front of us that we lose all perspective of the forest through the trees.
Sound familiar? Welcome to the startup grind.
When “Crunch-time” — is another way to say “All the Time”
We’ve all been there… Here’s what happened the last time I was in this mode.
There was a big milestone at the last company I was working for. We were about to launch an initiative that had been underway for about three months. There was about a week until the day we had all been working towards. Things were tense. People were laser-focused and a coworker told me:
Ken, I can’t wait for this big launch to finally be done.
It made sense. He was overworked. We all were. My response to him nearly ruined his day…
Why? As soon as this launch is finished we will immediately need to start fixing the corners that we cut to hit this deadline, we’ll have a whole lot of users we will need to support in the process, and there will be a variety of new milestones we’re all going to be focused on in the process.
He paused, nodded his head and agreed with me.
Yeah. You’re definitely right. I’m pretty excited for this milestone to be behind us, though.
Fast forward a few days — the milestone passed and it was a huge success. Everyone was happy and celebrated. It was a huge day and everyone was delighted, relaxed and calm.
And like clockwork, after a couple short weeks — we raise our heads up and realize we’re in the midst of the startup grind all over again.
So what can you do about it?
Let’s face it. The startup grind is a vicious cycle.
When you’re inexperienced it’s easy to try to power through it. Work longer hours. Put in more effort. Hustle harder. Do whatever it takes to get to the other side of it.
In times like these putting your blinders on and powering through seems like the only option.
When this happened to me, I looked around to see what other people were doing and what I saw horrified me. People more experienced than I was were dealing with problems many magnitudes more difficult than mine and were more effective, successful and surprisingly less stressed out than I was.
“How is this possible”, I asked myself. “WTF are these people doing that I’m not doing, that I’m not?”
The answer to that question is here in this post.
And, believe it or not, their approach is surprisingly simple and also remarkably effective. That said, breaking habits is hard, and being disciplined about this can be nearly impossible. Especially when starting out.
Here are six things you can do to make burnout a thing of the past.
Step #1: Surrender to the madness
The first step is to realize that you’re never done. Since fighting against the current is a fool’s errand you’ll need to play the game differently to win it.
Take a deep breath, accept this fact. We’re all adults here — seems simple enough, right? There are a few things that can make this harder to swallow.
Ultimately, burnout is caused by expectations being unreasonable, being prevented from doing your job because other people are dropping the ball and an overall lack of accountability. Luckily, these are all problems that are possible to solve.
First, accept that whatever you’re working towards may ultimately fail.
The startup grind is often caused by good intentions. People who work hard usually genuinely care about a successful outcome on the projects they work on. Keep in mind:
- A-Players genuinely care about the mission they’re working on.
- B-Players are usually along for the ride and try to do a pretty good job.
- C-Players barely skate by and have apathy anything they’re working on.
- D-Players and F-Players hopefully aren’t part of your team.
That means the startup grind impacts the A-Players than anyone else.
So take a second and take a few cues from the B and C-players. This is one time when they know what’s really up. Your take-aways should be that:
- Whatever you’re working on might fail.
- You’re not a superman. You can’t do someone else’s job for them.
- Be a good soldier. Do what you’re told. Know your remit. Stay in your lane.
That’s the hardest one. At least for me, anyway…
Second, if there’s no responsibility or accountability — manufacture it.
Organizations can only be successful with responsibility and accountability. In startups, it’s common to need to wear a number of hats, but accountability and responsibility are key for making sure things happen without micromanaging the entire process.
- Responsibility means all the people who are involved in the project are in communication and have the authority and autonomy to do what they need to do to achieve their goals. In situations with conflicting opinions, objectives and implementations, people with responsibility need to have the autonomy to handle these issues as they arise or a clearly defined path to who is responsible for making the decision.
- Accountability means that there is one neck to wring if something goes wrong. Sometimes when there’s a lot of cooks in the kitchen it can be ambiguous who is accountable for what. When someone is accountable it means everyone knows who will be blamed if things don’t go as planned — before things go sideways.
Ask yourself where there are responsibility or accountability gaps. These are the areas that will generate the most anxiety, tension or late night stress down the line.
Finally in group settings, where everyone involved is around, ask a few pretty basic questions:
- Who is responsible for ______?
- Who is accountable if ______ happens?
These two questions are magic. If these questions spawned hour-long discussions, congratulations, they’ve just achieved their job.
Communication can be difficult, though. I like to have these conversations in a group setting rather than only in a one-on-one setting. Some people might think it’s because I like putting people on the spot — but it’s actually not.
Here’s why having multiple people in the conversation is critical.
Managers often do a poor job of explaining responsibilities, expectations and accountability to people. It’s not uncommon for people to be told they’re responsible for something, but actually not fully understand what they’re responsible for, how to do it, or what other people are needing from them.
You don’t need authority or a position of power to ask questions or force a dialog about responsibility and accountability to happen. If you actually care about the project, it’s critical that people know who is accountable for specific things — and the people who are ultimately accountable actually understand what they’ve signed up for.
Third, let things break
Before things get fixed, they often need to break.
I’ve personally fallen victim of trying to “keep the duct-tape on” so long that I lose sight of problems to begin with.
Remember that a lot of the time, mental energy, focus and happiness can be saved by letting other people handle their own problems. Two pro-tips while you’re at it, though.
- Always bring the issue you’re aware of to the attention of the person whoever is responsible. It’s usually a good idea to get the issue on a few other people’s radar, too.
- Make sure that people know and agree that things that do break aren’t your responsibility or in your remit.
Fourth, sometimes people need to be fired
Since you’ve already set up the communication structure to enforce accountability and responsibility this step is the simplest one to execute, but often the most emotional.
Remember we’re all adults here.
Also remember you’re only going to grow by working with A-players who hold themselves accountable for doing what they say they’re going to do.
As a manager, it’s particularly difficult to fire someone for something they didn’t know they were accountable for. Also, as someone without the authority to fire someone, it’s not your job to do so. Having said that, questions like:
- Why isn’t this done?
- Who was responsible for getting this done?
- Did they know they would be held accountable for doing this?
are all questions that will advance the dialog and help everyone understand what ultimately went wrong after they did.
Follow these steps and you’ll find yourself remarkably effective at managing the chaos with a clear and level head while you’re in the office.
Step #2: Set concrete personal boundaries
Since we all know that the madness won’t end — you can’t beat it. Instead, you will need to set yourself to thrive in the environment you’re in. Having clear, unapologetic boundaries might not help your team in the immediate sprint ahead of you, but that’s ok. It will help you persist and help carry them in the marathon in front of you.
Setting boundaries isn’t doing something new. Rather, it’s understanding where the line is that you will draw and what you won’t do. Keep in mind: constraints can be a good thing.
Rather than looking at yourself as a malleable layer that can be molded around your company, set yourself up so the company will be molded around you and what you bring to the table.
You will need to define the boundaries that you feel comfortable with. Your boundaries might be a little different, but here are some of mine you can use for inspiration.
I will ensure I have adequate time to recharge
Or to put it another way, I won’t consistently work weekends and also work weekdays, too.
Being a founder of a company, I found it easy to get wrapped up in work, on weekends, holidays, and Christmas, too.
It was easy to think: I need to do this. For the sake of the company I started.
Putting myself second, and my company first, I burnt out, stressed out and stopped performing my best. It took years to learn this lesson, but:
I am far more effective working at 100% capacity for 40–50 hours a week than I ever was working at an exhausted state 80–90 hours a week.
Limitations are a feature. I found that only when I stopped trying to scale my effort endlessly to meet constantly growing demands it was possible to think creatively and solve problems without sacrificing myself physically, mentally and emotionally.
I will go on vacations that I plan
Here’s a story when this was put to the test.
I planned a vacation to Los Angeles a couple months ahead of time. After I planned the trip, the company I founded was in serious acquisition talks. The day before my vacation was starting we had received an Asset Purchase Agreement (APA) from the lawyer at the company we were talking with. Needless to say: this was a pretty big deal.
I talked with my co-founder and it looked like the company we started 5 years ago could very well be acquired during my brief 1-week vacation.
It was a hard decision but my co-founder assured me he had things under control, if he needed anything from me he would call me, but he encouraged me to go on my trip. I trusted him and I went on my vacation.
When I returned, I discovered there still was a lot of work to be done on the APA and the document wasn’t signed until long after I returned from my trip.
Had I canceled my vacation — we probably would’ve made a bit more progress in that week I was out. I more than made up for the week I was out by being calm, recharged and ready when I returned.
In retrospect, going on vacation at that moment when it felt like everything was on the line was the only reason I was able to bring my A-game when I really did need it. Even though it felt like the polar opposite in the heat of the moment.
I will go on Airplane mode at night and when traveling
It’s easy to be constantly bombarded with emails, things to do, and constantly being pulled into work-mode when trying to relax. Those constant pings from work emails are enough to drive anyone mad.
I found it key to put my phone in airplane mode when I was recharging. There was a long period of time when I didn’t do this, however, and I would continue to check emails at night, but hold off on replying or handling things until the morning.
I finally asked myself: what’s the point? I was getting myself worked up over things that I couldn’t handle in my time off. In a lot of cases, things were actually fairly easy to handle after a night’s sleep and a bit of relaxation. Getting myself worked up over work stuff while trying to recharge was actually hindering my ability to get issues resolved.
So I finally learned how to chill out, unplug from the world and trust that I can handle things when I’m back with my A-game.
In the process, I learned that the things that matter the most usually move a glacial pace and things that move really quickly usually don’t matter too much in the grand scheme of things.
I will always respect my coworkers boundaries in the same areas
I will not force others to subscribe to the startup grind mentality.
I won’t encourage people to cancel their vacations. I won’t encourage people to do work that will prevent them from unplugging, recharging or decompressing. And I won’t expect people to reply to my emails at all hours of the night.
By respecting other people’s rights to the things I value — when I do need to stand up for myself I don’t need to feel bad about it. I am able to be consistent with my values and my expectations for other people matches the expectations that I set for myself.
Watch out though — the grind spreads like a disease. As soon as it impacts one person on a team — it’s easy for it to spread. Don’t contaminate your team or coworkers, otherwise it will be easy for it to overtake you, too.
It took me a long time to realize this — but I found that by setting limits around my work I was able to achieve more and be happier doing it in the process!
A clear separation between your work/life and personal life will let you be 100% all-in with your A-game during your moments at work. This clarity will allow you to behave effectively and rationally in all situations.
Step #3: Make sure things that concern you actually matter
I used to get myself worked up about things that didn’t matter too much. This is a lesson that I learned a very hard way. Here’s exactly how I learned this lesson myself…
Once my team was tasked with something that was seemingly impossible. I struggled to achieve the objective, worked the weekends, and did whatever I could to achieve the goal.
The end result: I failed. By a long-shot.
Strangely, nobody in the company seemed to care…
What am I missing?
I asked, completely confused. This project had been a complete failure in my eyes.
We wanted the team to think bigger. To challenge assumptions, push boundaries and see what’s possible. We missed the goal we set on paper, but to even shoot for this we ended up building new systems, processes and changed things we previously accepted were changed.
On paper we missed the goal — but the company achieved what we set out.
I was floored. I thought the initiative had been a complete failure —and in the process, I sacrificed my own mental health in desperate attempts to achieve the impossible. In fact, my work had been the opposite of a failure, however, I just was viewing things through the incorrect lens.
It turns out I didn’t understand the real problem we were solving.
After this happened, I promised myself to always understand the underlying needs and purpose of goals, objectives and initiatives. In the process, I learned a valuable lesson.
It seems that everyone who is successful is an expert at the solution they are working on — but playing the game differently and becoming an expert at the problem to be solved instead gives an advantage that is difficult to overstate.
Having a firm handle on WHY something is being done gives a unique perspective on HOW to do it. It also can often give you peace of mind and save your sanity in the process.
Step #4: Learn how to say it how it is — then do that.
There’s a fine line between being tactful about how you communicate a message to people and running around telling everyone whatever they want to hear. The former will get you noticed, move your career in the right direction and have people respect you for getting stuff done. And the latter will have a wake of chaos follow you wherever you go.
Sugarcoating messages to the point where the message is misunderstood will create two different categories of problems depending on who you’re talking to — but regardless of how the problems manifest themselves — the one thing you can count on is that the result will burn you (and everyone around you) out.
Painting a rosy picture to management — can be problematic if the picture you’re painting doesn’t have a basis in reality.
As a middle manager, distilling reality into what’s really important is your job. There likely will be a variety of things going wrong in your realm that aren’t terribly important that you shouldn’t worry about communicating. But if you find yourself communicating an entirely different narrative to different people depending on who is in the room, problems will arise.
For the sake of your sanity, and those underneath you, and your managers too, just say it how it is.
Watering down asks to individual contributors and teams — sometimes you need to ask someone to do something that’s outside of what they might want to do. Watering down your ask, making your request vague, or downplaying things are all strategies you could take, but they all have one thing in common: they create a mess you’ll need to clean up in the future.
There are two things that happen when you water down your requests:
First, you don’t adequately set the expectations of what you’re asking for. This means the likelihood of getting what you’re hoping is pretty slim.
Second, you don’t set yourself up with what you need to hold someone accountable for doing what they said they were going to do, since the request was watered down and vague.
Good requests are ones where the expectations are clear. If people have objections to the responsibility, it’s almost always easier to have the discussions around them before the ship has sailed.
Watering down a request to someone helps neither you or the person you’re talking to — so instead, just say it how it is.
Remember that honesty, even if it’s not what people want to hear, engenders trust. If you’re playing the long game, leveraging that trust to get things done will let you move faster, easier, and with less stress than covering things up.
And when people you’re working with know and understand the implications of what they’re agreeing to, it will make your life easier to trust them and hold them accountable.
Mean what you say, and say what you mean. It will pay dividends in your professional life.
Step #5: Stay disciplined
Working habits can be difficult to break. And in my experience, burn out is usually caused by taking the easy way out and optimizing short-term gains over long-term happiness. Make one or two quick trade-offs to get something done and it’s not a big deal.
But if you don’t pay for the organizational debt you accrue by making these trade-offs it can feel overwhelming. The key is to stay disciplined when times are tough.
When you’re working off a stable foundation, with good communication, boundaries and a purpose in what you’re doing the work you do will look effortless from the outside world, because it will be.
Step #6: Sign up for my mailing list
No post is complete without a little shameless self-promotion. My plug for my mailing list looks like this:
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Nailed it!
Did I miss anything?
I probably did. That’s ok, though!
Share what you’ve found effective to manage and prevent burnout in the comments below!
Remember — it’s so easy to try to push at an unsustainable rate
It’s so easy to try to push at an unsustainable rate. This is true for you and for any team you’re working with. Follow the steps in this post, however, and your coworkers will notice that you’re remarkably effective at your job and seem relaxed and stress-free in the process.
