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Self-Care Isn’t Always the Answer
For some, community care, not a massage, is what’s really needed
I have a good friend battling depression and anxiety. She shared with me how she recently reached out to a group of friends, and their response was along these lines: “You need to practice self-care!”
One sent a podcast link for her to listen to, another talked about how she should pencil time into her schedule just for her, and yet another asked if she was working out enough.
All of these responses were well-meaning, of course, but our obsession with self-care seems to having a dangerous side effect.
For people with true mental illness and other disabilities, their ability to thrive, and even survive, depends not on self-care, but on community care.
For them, the idea that a brisk walk, a bubble bath, or an hour reading is going to solve their problems isn’t just laughable, in many cases, it’s impossible.
For many, there comes a point where self-care just isn’t even an option, they need others to step in, give support, and help them see the light on the other side.
They need people to check in with them, bring them meals, make sure they’re getting to their appointments, help them with tasks around the house, give hugs, and be an empathetic listener and friend.
The idea of community care isn’t a new one, but the definition I’m using refers to a select group of trusted friends willing to step up and pitch in when needed.
It’s a network of people who love you, and who want to be a part of your healing journey. Community care happens when we work towards supporting the care of our friends, family, and communities.
It’s in contrast to self-care, where the person needing help performs a small task or two, like taking a yoga class or getting a massage, and is back on track.
Community care implies that the individual simply cannot care for themselves, and needs a community around them to help them survive. It’s a concept that doesn’t get nearly the amount of press as self-care, but it’s vitally important for anyone suffering from any form of disability.
